Room To Breath

chapter six

Oli's pov

When I wake up I keep my eyes closed. I don't want to wake up. This word is shit and I dont want to live life. I want to stay in bed. Slight movement bring back memories.

I'm in Josh's bed. I open my eyes to see josh is on his phone probably uncomfortable for sitting up right. Ronnie and Vic and talking without paying any attention to Josh. My head still feels dazed and fuzzy.

My eyes linger on Vic.

He's really nice and understanding. In high school we use to talk but then I blocked everyone out.. Yet he still talks to me every once in a while. He's kinda a airhead sometimes but I know theres a level of him I don't know. My brain swims with ideas and weird emotions.

My eyes go to Josh. I really dont know any of his levels. He's cute but looks aren't what I go for- well, when it's just a hook up. But I'm tired of all of the random hook ups. I want someone real.  Josh pop's his neck and I feel bad for taking up his bed.

I grab his hip making him flinch and look at me with a shock expression. My face twists into a smirk. When I'm high I love physical contact. Sex is amazing while high but I'm in a mood to hold someone.

"Lay with me," I say in a hushed deep voice. His face goes red and he eyes my body and then face. He contemplates it and then takes off his shoes and lays down not cuddling with me at first.

Carefully I snake my arm around his waist and pull him against my body. Cuddling means nothing but it makes me feel better so I do it. I've cuddled with all my friends. Ronnie could be my favorite person to cuddle with.

I take in a breath and smirk. "You smell like vanilla and coconuts," I whisper and I he giggles. As we spoon he plays with my hands. Usually they are shakey but sometimes I have control over it like right now. When I close my eyes it feels like I have tunnel vision even in the blacks behind my eyelids.

I feel happy but in a few hours it will go away and everything will be boring and dull. After a little while I let go of the pastel boy and sit up. I feel like I need to go for a walk. "I'm going back to our room," I tell Ronnie. It's a lie but he doesn't care.

When I get out of the bed josh is looking at the floor. I wonder why he looks sad. I discard the thought and leave. I need to smoke.

When I get outside I head to the gazebo and smoke a blunt on the way. Mixing highs is always fun. The floaty feeling and tunnel vision mixed with the peaceful high weed gives me makes me smile.

By the time I'm at the gazebo I feel both highs making me feel like I'm in some different parallel universe or something. I lay on the bench and look at the scenery. Josh was right, it is pretty. I close my eyes and take another hit off my joint.

The intoxicating smoke seeps into my soul through my lungs making everything better. Who needs antidepressants when you have drugs? I blow out the puff of white smoke and watch it disappear into the air.

I then see a husky walking towards me so I blink and sit up seeing kellin walking next to it but he's writing in a notebook. He looks up and sees me. He flips a few pages back and looks at something and then me.

"Oli?" He says and I smile.

"What's up kellin? Is this your dog?" I ask but my voice feels weird on my tongue. I sit up and my vision lags.

"Yeah, her names cope," he says and the dog walks up to me and starts licking my hand. I chuckle.

"Oh.. she loves to cheer people up," he says and sits next to me and looks at the blunt. I offer it to him but he shakes his head.

"I'm not allowed to smoke or anything,"  he says seeming upset.

"I wont tell anyone," I say with a smirk and try to hand it to him. He frowns and then looks at me carefully.

"No.. like, my brain wont be able to process memories so the whole time I'm high it will just be a black out," he says and I pout. poor him. I'd hate to forget my high.

"Hmm.. well," I say but dont finish it.

"I liked laying on you, wanna do it again?" I say and grab the side of his face and scooting closer. He'd be a nice fuck. His cheeks go red and looks at me with big eyes.

"I- um-" he stutters out but I cut him off with my lips. I love kissing while high. I kiss him and he starts kissing back. His lips are warm and soft. My body feels hot and needy.

"Let's go fuck in my room," I say getting up and grabbing his hand he looks a bit confused and lost but I think that's just because how blunt I am. We walk and time goes by weirdly. I'm not sure if it took us thirty seconds or thirty minutes to get to my empty room. It probably was 5 or 10 minutes but that doesn't matter.

He goes to look at his notebook but I take it with a smirk and drop it to the floor. His dog sits on the floor and kellin looks shy. I kiss him and push him onto my bed.

As we kiss I feel myself getting hard. He pulls away for a second. "You're high?" He asks and I take off my shirt.

"And you're hot," I say and he makes a face I can't process. To be honest I cant process a lot right now. I just want to get off. He puts his hand on my chest to stop me from kissing him.

"I- i-" he says and then mumbles something very quiet and let's go of my chest. I take this as a go ahead and I kiss him. Carefully I take off his shirt and start kissing and sucking on his skin.

I like making hickeys even if I'm not in a relationship or anything with them. It's fun. I palm him helping him get hard.

My mind spins in a haze as I get our clothes off.

I love sex while high.

Thoughts??

Hhhhhhh

Thought on oli?

Kellin?

Him being high?