Room To Breath

45

Josh's pov

When I get back from talking to my sister I walk into Oliver's room to see him halfway under the bed. I shut the door and I guess he didn't hear me walk in because as soon as the door shut he hit his head on the bottom of the bed. He then quickly got up holding his head blushing.

I burst into giggles and he pouts a little. "What were you doing?" I ask still gigging a little. He smiles a little and lots down. It's sad he doesn't smile more and when he does he tries to hide it.

"I guess I was looking for evidence someone died in here," he says in a very strong British accent. He's so cute and I've learned that his accent gets thicker when he's anything other that's sober and wide awake. So basically he's always got a strong accent.

I like how he doesn't pronounce words correctly. Or how he skips over some of the letter's sounds in the words. People do die here but hardly. I doubt anyone has died in here. His eyes go to my own eyes and I blush a little.

Oliver is really hot and I hate that I love him so much. Ever since we kissed I've wanted to kiss him more. The thing is he seems to always want to take it farther and my body always seems to get way to excited. I dont even understand why people like being turned on.

Its annoying to just wait for it to go away. He sits on his bed and uses his index finger to call me over. Obviously I come over to see what he wants and he smirks. "If I can make you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with three," he says and I blink.

Was that a sexual joke? Why is he looking at me like that. I bite my lip nervous to say I dont understand. "I.. I dont understand.. was that a joke?" I ask shyly and he raises an eyebrow.

"Make you come," he says and I blink. "I will make you come with my three fingers?" He asks trying to make me understand but I just end up pouting. What's funny about him making me walk over using three fingers?

He chuckles to himself. "C- u- m- cum," he says and my eyes widen. I've heard of that word while I was in a public bathroom and saw that written on the wall. I looked it up and it's the stuff that makes girls pregnant and it has something to do with sex. Make me cum? So cum is something I can do?

I'm so confused and embarrassed. "You act so innocent but I bet you're really good in bed," he says and I stay quiet. What do I say? Do I tell him he's wrong and say I'm a virgin? That's embarrassing.

"Um so lunch is in a little while, do you want me to go get some food or do you want to try to make friends and go to lunch here?" I change the topic.

"I'm not hungry, how about we do this," he says laying down and patting his stomach. "Sit, I want to look at you as we talk," he says and grabs my hand pulling me to him. I blush but it's not sexual so I'm cool with is. I like being close to him...

I get on the bed and then straddle his waist. I'm glad he's wearing a shirt because my skirt is to short so my underwear is against his shirt. He puts his hands on my thighs and slide then up a tiny up my skirt but it's not to far up to make me too nervous.

My heart is beating so hard. "So if we are going to me 'talking' I want to know something," he starts. I'm open to talk about anything. I'm mature and I'll talk about how far I want to go, what I want, Family, emotions, relationship, I'm just not going to talk about it unless he asks.

"What's your body count?" He asks and I blush realizing what he's asking.

"Um.. zero.." I shift in my spot a cover my face with my hands. I don't want to see that smug grin or to hear about how I should just sleep with someone already. I want it to be special. I mean it doesn't have to be perfect but I want it to be with a boyfriend a while into our relationship. Hopefully that is oli but I dont know..

He quite so I pull my fingers away from my eyes and face to see him looking confused. I thought he was going to make fun of me but instead he's completely confused.

"You've never had sex?" He asks shocked.

"Yup.." I say embarrassed.

"You never been with a guy or girl?" He asks not believing me.

"Yeah.. never," I say and he blinks.

"You're a virgin?" He asks pretty much the same question over again making me pout.

"Oliver, yeah, that's what virgin means. I respect my body and I'm waiting until I'm in a good relationship," I say and he looks at the ceiling like he's trying to process this information. I dont see why it's so weird.

"What about you other relationships?" He asks not looking at me. I pout even though he cant see it.

"I've never really liked anyone before?" I say. I've only like oli. When I say him in high school I got a crush on him and girls and boys would flirt but I just brushed them off because they were no where need as appealing as oli.

Then I decided I was happy alone so I didn't try to get one. "But you like me?" He asks looking at me.

"Yeah.. I do.." I say noding.

"So you only want to kiss and not touch because you saving yourself? And if I woo you or something then you'll consider it? It's not because you think I'm a loser?" He asks and I giggle.

"Yeah except don't try to woo me just to try to get with me. I've already been wooed by you," I giggle more and he rolls his eyes.

"I guess that makes sense.. its just weird. I thought only girls saved themselves and all that shit," he says seeming in thought. Theres a lot he doesn't know. Not saying he's stupid, just naive.

"Hm.. well, now you know. I'm josh, I'm a boy, and I'm a virgin," I say pretending to be confident. He then looks at my skirt and his hands for a moment.

"What about a hand job? You to good for that," he says jokingly and slides his hand up higher.

"Nothing sexual. Only kissing. I uh.. might be okay with you t-touching my ass but nothing else," I let him know where my line ends. He smirks a little.

"You must use your right hand a lot, poor baby doesn't let dirty guys like me corrupt you," he says and I pout. I wont embarrass myself any further. He doesn't need to know I've never been touched by anyone including myself.

"Oh, I almost forgot. At 8pm tonight your going to group therapy and after that a private one. I wont be here so if you dont show up matty will come get you. It's not as bad as it seems and the first day you don't have to share much about yourself so it's going to be okay," I say so I don't forget to tell him later.

I hope he gets better. I believe he can, he just needs to open up. Heal, and then work with it. I feel like he got hurt and instead of healing he just hide it and tried to forget it with drugs.

"Hhm.. okay.. you're leaving at 6?" He asks.

"I get off at 6, I'll probably stay until 7 if you want," I tell him and he smiles. Its 12, we have a long day ahead of us- or maybe it will be really short for me. I love spending time with him.

I can't sleep owo

Josh embarrassed himself so much

They talked about it so maybe oli will respect him more. Ik oli wasn't full set on fucking josh but he still was always trying to test him.

I should write about vic and kellin soon but I'm trying to get to a baby stopping point with josh and oli, not right when they are about to kiss and not when oli is having his first day in rehab

Thoughts?

Theories?

Hhhehehehhe next chapter will be ;)  ;)  );  ;)