I wish I felt the same.. \\•Fitz x Swaggersouls•//

Chapter 10

~CAMS POV~
I was sitting on my bed, my legs pulled to my chest and my chin resting on my knees.

My face was red and stained with tears from the days earlier tantrum. After sobbing into my pillow, I didn't feel like moving.

I hadn't said anything. I just sat there in silence, letting the warm tears run down my face.

Toby tried coming but I had locked my door so no one thought about trying to come in.

I'm not sure what others would call me, but I'd call myself absolutely pathetic. Who would let themselves live like this?

Me, apparently.

~ERICS POV~
I heard everything.

I heard all of it. Cameron falling onto his bed as the head board slammed into the wall that separated our rooms. Him screaming and sobbing into his pillows, crying about why he had to be put through this and about how pathetic he was.

It made me genuinely upset. I even had felt the stinging of tears in my own eyes as I listened through the wall but I didn't let them fall.

And I finally figured out what happened. Through a text.

Toby has come to visit me in my room, saying how he wanted "company", which was unusual of him.

He walked into my room, looking very upset so I knew something was up. I decided not to tell him what I heard coming from Cameron's room as it would only make him more upset.

He jumped onto my bed and crossed his legs in front of him. "Hey swags, how are you mate?" He asked me, smiling. I could see hurt in his eyes.

I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head slightly. "I'm alright, you?" He waves his hand at me and looks down. "Not important, what is important is that I show you this." He began to fish his phone out of his jeans pocket.

I swallowed. "What do you mean Toby? What's going on?" I ask, concern in my voice. Toby huffs and opens up his phone and goes to images. "Eric, when I show you this, I need you to stay calm." He says lowly, like he didn't really want me to hear it.

I furrow my brows and slowly nod. "O-Okay? I want to know what's going on."

He points his phone screen at me. It's a screenshot of a message conversation. It was between Cameron and Jay.

Now I know why Toby was upset...he texted Jay instead of him..

Jay:
Cameron, what's going on m8?

Cam:
I don't want to talk about it.

Jay:
Cameron, tell me through text or I'll come there to talk in person, and I know you don't want that.

Cam:
Fine.
It's his fault.
Eric-

My heart drops but I continue to read the messages between the two guys.

Cam:
Eric has made me feel this way. I'm going insane Jay.
Ever since the night at the club, I haven't been able to sleep. He is constantly in my mind.
When he told me he loved me, I didn't know what to do.
I felt like I did something and I couldn't bear to see his face.

Jay:
Holy shit.
He actually said he loved you?

Cam:
Not the time J.

Jay:
Sorry, but...wow

That's where I stopped reading. My face had gone pale and I just sat there, staring at the wall. Toby took his phone back and swallowed. He must've seen my expression and known what it meant because he moved to my side, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way Eric. But I had to show you. I couldn't hide this any longer. Cameron...needs our help."

I felt a huge lump grow in my throat as I took everything in.

I told Cameron I loved him?
I'm straight? Right?
I couldn't have

I curse under my breath and rub my eyes roughly. The tears were starting to come back, and that's the last thing I wanted.

"Toby, could I have some time alone...for just a bit?" I ask lowly, my voice cracking as I held back a sob. Toby nods and shoves his phone in his pocket after standing up from the bed.

"Of course, call me if you need anything."
He shoots me a hurting smile and opens he bedroom door to leave. "This isn't your fault Eric, I hope you know that."

He leaves and shuts the door behind him, leaving me in the sharp silence of my room.

Not according to Cameron.

I contemplated on what I should do next. I knew I needed to help Cameron but I couldn't get myself to stand up and go see him.

Who knows what he was doing now. He could be crying still. He could be asleep.

He could be dead.

I curse at myself for thinking such a thing.

I knew the last he wanted was to see me. But I needed to see him. So I could sort things out. So I could apologize to him.

After about 30 minutes of pacing back and forth in my room, trying to decide if I should go to Cameron's room or not, I chose to take my chances and go see him.

I sat on my bed, waiting for the right time to go over to his room. I listened carefully through the wall, seeing if I could hear anything from Cameron's room. But, there was nothing.

I hope that was a good thing.
I hope.

I stood from my bed and walked to my door, turning the handle and walking out into the hallway. I could hear some laughing and glasses clinking together from downstairs. The guys were probably sharing drinks with each other. It was a Friday night after all.

I cut my gaze to Cam's door, feeling my heartbeat speed up and my palms getting sweaty.

I swallowed hard and took a couple steps so I stood directly in front of his door. The anxiety that was going through me was pumping so fast, I'm surprised I didn't pass out.

I raised my hand ,that was clenched into a fist, up to the door and knocked twice.

From inside the bedroom, I heard a faint voice that said.

"Come in."

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Hey y'all! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
If you do, make sure to vote and comment, I always enjoy getting comments!

-Emily 👋💗