I wish I felt the same.. \\•Fitz x Swaggersouls•//

Chapter 12

~CAMS POV~
For most of the day, Eric stayed in my room in silence. We would sit together, hugging while I cried into his shoulders. Or we both sat on opposite sides of the room... while he watched me cry.

There was crying in either scenarios. Since he first saw my cuts that covered my arms, he hadn't dared to say a word about them. I'm not too sure why he didn't but he just tried to comfort me as much as he could.

I knew we weren't a thing, and we most likely never would be. He was only doing it as a best friend should. It felt weird, me being as tall as I am, crying into this way shorter mans chest, my arms draping over him.

It was now around 6:30 in the afternoon and I was getting kinda hungry, because I hadn't eaten since the morning of the previous day.

Right now, Eric was in the bathroom, cleaning himself up as he was getting ready to leave my room and give me some space. I didn't want him to leave yet, but I felt like I should get up and go down stairs as well.

Which really surprised me, as the day before I felt like killing myself.

I heard the toilet flush and the water from the sink turn on. I decided this was my time and I scooted myself to the edge of the bed. I pulled the sleeves of my hoodie down and stood up, hearing multiple bones inside of me crack.

I groaned deeply and stretched my back further, some more joints popping. I shuffled towards the bathroom and knocked on the door.

Eric turned off the sink and unlocked the door, tilting his head as he saw me standing there. "Oh, hey Cam...are you alright? Do you need something?" He asked me, concern in his eyes.

I shook my head and my cheeks flushed. "I....I think I'm ready.." I say, looking down at his chest. He furrows his eyebrows and hums slightly. "What do you mean?"

I sigh and bite my lip. "I'm ready to leave this room. I'm ready to go downstairs..I think.."
I say, fiddling and intertwining my fingers together.

I could see his face light up slightly and his cute smile quickly returned. "Really?!" He said, a bit too enthusiastically for my liking. He quickly calmed down and took a breath. "Are you sure? We don't know how the guys will reac-"

I cut him off by holding up my hand and shutting my eyes. "Eric, trust me, I'm okay. It'll, for sure, take some time to get back into a rhythm, but for now, I'm ready." I tell him reassuringly. He quickly nods and walks past me to grab his phone off of the bed.

I grab my own phone and slide it into the pocket of my hoodie, making sure I had covered myself before turning to Eric. "Can you lead the way...please?" I ask softly, my eyes glossing over. He huffs and nods. "Of course Cameron.."

~ERICS POV~
Yes!!  This is good!
This is what we want!!
Right..?

I had finally managed to convince Cameron to leave his room. I'm not sure how because I never said anything, but hey, it happened!!

I opened the door, hearing it creak slightly and I hold my hand out, facing the hallway. "Whenever you're ready man.." I smiled slightly, looking Cam in the eyes.

I could still see the pain and uncomfortableness as I looked deeper into his sockets. It pained me to see him like this, but at least he was leaving the room. It was progress

Baby steps.
Very...small...baby steps.

He nodded with "hmph" and stepped out of the room, his eyes automatically snapping to the stairwell. I shut the door behind me and stepped beside him, placing my hand up onto his shoulder. "Hey, it'll be okay Cam, I'm right here."

I see him bite his lip and take a deep breath, closing his eyes and nodding once more. "Yeah, Okay...lets go..." He opens his eyes and I begin walking towards the stairs, him following closely behind me.

We passed by my room, the door was closed, and then Toby's room, his door was open but the room was empty. I could also hear that most of the guys were down stairs because of the yells and obnoxious moaning coming from the bottom level.

We reached the top of the stairs and Cameron stood beside me, resting his hand on the hand rail. The anxiety and nervousness radiating off of him was so powerful that I felt myself getting antsy and unsteady.

I turned my head to him and shifted my eyes to his chest, as he was breathing very heavily. "Cameron, you alright? You sure you're ready?"
He looked like he snapped out of a trance and flipped his eyes to mine. "Yes, I'm sure, I promise!"

~CAMS POV~
"You just seem...agitated about something.." Eric said with concern.

I wasn't too sure why I was feeling like this. It's not like these guys were strangers, they were my roommates! My best friends. But something deeper inside of me felt like I had never met them a day in my life.

I swallow and huff. "Eric, I'm sure! Let's just go." I say as I began to step down the stairs, not waiting for him to follow me. I could hear him sigh deeply behind me and his steps start down the stairs.

I reached the bottom of the steps before I was ready to and Eric followed me, stopping beside me. Toby, Jay And Mason, John and Jaren, and Matt were all sitting on the couch and beanbags that were spread around the living room, looking at the tv as a game of Smash was being played.

I saw that Mason had a controller and John had the other controller. They were also the ones that were screaming the loudest.

All the noise and commotion was causing my head to throb and I took a deep breath to help calm myself down, feeling my throat close up.

I guess Eric noticed my uneasy ness and he patted my back. "Hey, you've made it this far, they haven't noticed us yet either. You're doing good.." He said comfortingly into my ear.

He walked past me towards the couches and grabs the remote from Matt's hands before turning off the television. There were even louder screams of anger and all the guys were cursing at Eric.

He was ignoring them looked towards me, signaling for me to come over there. I nodded shortly and quickly walked to the middle of the room. I sat on a stool, looking down at the floor and holding my arms to my chest.

I could hear the gasps and whispering among the others. The first one to speak up was, not surprisingly, Toby.

"Hey Cameron, how are you man?" His eyes cut to Eric but quickly made their way back to me. But one after another, the other guys started to say their hellos and "how are you?" or "are you okay?".

All stuff that I've already heard or have been texted so it wasn't new. I stayed quiet, keeping my head low and refusing to look anyone in the eyes.

Toby stood from the couch and kneeled beside me so he could meet my eyes.

"Cameron, tell us what's going on. Me and the others want to know how to help you, really, we do." The others mumbled their agreements, nodding towards us.

"Yeah Mate, what's bothering you?" Mason piped up, looking over Tobys shoulder towards me.

I stuttered heavily on my words, the pain in my throat and eyes coming again.
"It's...I-it's...a long story.."

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Finally!! I've been busy with school and practice, that's why it took a bit for this chapter! But yay!! He finally got out of his dungeon!
-Emily 💗✌️