Lyra

48.

Lyra

"You what?" I ask and she sits next to me and shows me the receipts of her purchases.

"I know you don't like this genre of music but just go with me, please?" She asks and I shake my head and look down at my phone.

"No. I'm good though." I say and she smacks her teeth.

"I spent about a thousand dollars dude." Mercedes says and I look up through my eyelashes.

"Fine but you owe me big time."

~~~

Sitting on the Gym floor, I watch the others talk and be on their phones. Practice today was very chill since the head coach was sick. I cross my legs and clear my throat as I take a deep breath. Am I really gonna go to this concert? I miss them sincerely, but if I see them again I know I'm going to see Taehyung again.

"Lyra wanna head to the club tonight?" I hear Mercedes call out and I look up and nod.

"Yeah, let's wash up first."

We head out the gym and start our walk to the dorm. Mercedes apologizes for unexpectedly inviting me to the concert and getting my ticket. I wave her off and tell her I was overreacting. The concert takes place in a couple of weeks.

We reach our dorms and take turns showering before getting dressed. The more I think about the concert is the more I think about my life back in Korea. I haven't forgotten about where I came from, but I don't necessarily want to look back. Especially not the day I lost my brother. Maybe this really is a mistake waiting to happen. Maybe I should back out now. I have enough time.

"You read-oh you look cute." Mercedes says as she comes into the bathroom.

"Cedes can I ask you something?" I ask and she nods and leans against the side of the door frame.

"Let's say you leave a part of your life and somehow end up in a similar situation, what do you do?" I ask and she hums.

"Let it happen." She says and I upturn my face.

"Let it happen?"

"Yeah. Life is too short to be scared of what the result is. You don't know for sure the result will be the same, so go for it. If it is the same, now you know for sure. But that is only a suggestion and also take part in what your heart can handle. If you can't handle much, don't take in and do much." She says and I nod and look in the mirror and she stands next to me.

"Are you okay?" She asks and I nod and smile.

"Yeah. Thanks Cedes."

We head to the club and get inside. Through the night we dance and drink. The music was blaring and the drinks her buzzing. Around midnight Mercedes comes to me to take us home but I decline.

She tries to reason with me and I shoo her away and continue to drink. Memories upon memories upon memories fill my mind as I think of them. Of him. My vision was blurry and my head was spinning. I was never the drinker but when I did, I definitely over did it. The break up with Jun was completely mentally draining. I was hurt. Heart broken. I gave myself to him and now we're done. The fight with Taehyung was even worse. He was like a brother to me. I wanted us to be a real family. I wanted us to be brother and sister. The other six were like my older brothers and best friends as well. I missed them all but I'm so far gone, they may not even accept me back.

I sling back the next shot and I unlocks her phone and hover my thumb over his number. This was a long shot but it's no cognitive function going on, I click on the number. I place the phone to my ear. With the music blaring I could just barely hear the phone ringing until it stops and his voice comes through the phone. My chest tightens and my grip on the phone gets harder as I hold my breath.

"Hello?"