Please turn back before it's too late.
Tam:
Every time I go to dinner, seems like I'm gettin' a little bit thinner
I'll sit down at the breakfast table, I can talk, they're not able
When I look at them I find, there's a single question on their mind
I wish it could go back to the way it was
It's not easy now because...
Peggy: I forgot why I'm doing this.
Tam:
The whole fandom thinks I'm gay
I guess it's always been that way
Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk
Makes them think I like...
Boys
That I like boys....
Peggy: Someone stop me
Tam:
The freaking question just won't go away
And I get asked every single day
But the way they ask it is not a disguise.
Like, "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?"
That's... funny.
This is the worst, this was my fear
Now their opinions are crystal clear because....
The whole fandom now is shocked.
I'm in the closet and the door is locked
Now my glory days are gone
I was John Elway, now I'm Elton John
The whole fandom now suspects
That talking to Keefe had side effects
I'm not gay and that's what I said!
If I'm gay, hey God strike me dead, y'know?
*collapses*
Peggy: This happens every time. *sighs* Keefe! Go help.
Keefe: Me? Why?
Peggy: Just do it.
Keefe: *grumbles and takes Tam's script*
Just 'cause I'm afraid of the snow
Or my favorite color is... the rainbow
*nervous laughter* It's a joke.
I don't mean to yell, but I fear I must
Because I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust
Because...
Tam: *looks up* Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay.
Keefe: *blush*
Tam: *puts his head down again* *muffled* Just kidding. Heh... heh
Keefe: *looks out at the camera* ... You all probably think I'm gay.
Tam: *sits up* This song's pretty counterproductive.
Keefe: Uh... la la la la la la
Kam: Because the whole fandom thinks we're gay
What do they know any way?
You gotta look right through the haze
You're probably going through a phase
The whole fandom thinks we're queer
That is all we ever hear
But we've both straight as a ramp
Tam: If you don't count... Legally Blonde.
Keefe: ... Heck.
I have no idea what this is. Just take it and leave.
Peggy out.
YOU ARE READING
Kotlc the Musical
FanfictionYeah so... I love musicals... and... I connect everything to them. So... Kotlc the Musical! Here you go I guess. Disclaimer: I don't own any of these lyrics... I change some of them... But they're mostly not mine.