Home to you

Chapter 5

"So why exactly did you choos to come to Australia?" I ask Connor. We were sitting on the sofa of my hotel room. " don't get me wrong I love that you are here but I don't get it. Aren't you suppose to be in Africa in three weeks?" He takes a sip out of the coffee I made in the suits kitchen. "Yeah I'm doing Africa but you know.... I figured... I don't know what I was thinking. I just booked a flight and here I am." For some reason he look disappointed. His eyes fixated on the coffee in his mug. I leaned over and slowly touched his arm. "I can't believe you're here." He looked up and locked his eyes with mine. A nervous smile spread in his face. "I can't believe it myself and I sat 14 hours in a plane to prepare myself while I just busted into your life here. I'm sorry I didn't thought this through." I giggled which made Connor even more confused. "I can't tell you how pleased I am that you sometimes don't think things though." I say and then hug him again. Which turned out pretty weird because we were still sitting on the sofa and Connor held a mug in his hand so he awkwardly hugged me back with one arm.
"So what are we doing now?" Connor breaks the silence. "Oh you're in the best city of the world... And you have me: the best guide Australia has ever seen. So you don't have to worry about anything!" He starts to giggle himself and I am so relieved by that sound that I have to laughter myself. Minutes pass and all we do is laugh.
"So how was Sydney the first days?" He asks casually. I look down on my hands while I think about what to say. "Pretty lonely." I confess. "But it's okay I'm used to that. I don't mind it anymore." Connors expression change to sad again. "Troye... It's not okay... No one should ever feel used to be alone." My hand are shaking. With Tyler's advice in mind I can't think of anything else but to bring my feelings it the conversation. "So is that the real reason why you are here?" I ask him. "Is it because you couldn't stand being alone anymore?" I shyly look up but still avoid his stare. Connors cheeks were red and his hands were shaking too. "Yes!" He says loudly. "I couldn't stay away from you okay.... I know that you just been in L.A. but I missed you the moment you left... I don't know why... I'm so confused about my feelings. It feels like I don't even know myself anymore."
"It's okay Con... I've missed you too." He laugh. Histerically. "Troye you don't get it.... I mean I missed you more that I miss my other friends... More that I miss my family." He pauses. "I like you more than my other friends." His face now bright red by his confession. I smile at him. "I can't believe this is happening." I say more to myself that to him. Connor misreading my sentence suddenly gets up.
"I should have known that you don't feel the same." He says before he tries to storm out of the room. But I hold him back from doing that. I get up from the sofa myself. Before I slowly and very clearly say. "I like you too Connor. And you're right that is pretty confusing." His face now turning from anger to shock. Before he can say anything back I lean forward and press my lips against his. I can feel how the tension in his body is finally releasing him. After just a short moment of shock he slides his hand around my waist and kisses me back. My mind is finally free from all the confusing feelings of the last days knowing that this is right. My hands wandering from between the shoulder blades to his neck while the kiss deepens. The vibration of a phone in his pocket which is pressed against my leg makes me jump. "Sorry." He mumbles and stares at his phone. "It's my mom I should probably take this." He says while he brings the phone to his ear and leaves the room. I let myself crash back in the sofa. Still in disbelieve that this relly happened. I just kissed Connor Franta. I start to giggle and turn on the tv wanting to give him some privacy with his mother. I change the channels fast without even watching. In my mind I'm humming a certain melody thinking maybe I could finally find the right lyrics.
I try to focus on the words I'm thinking about. Home that's the feeling Connor makes me feel.
"So come over now and talk me down..." I quietly sing to my self. "Sure why not." Connor says from behind me. I jump again. He come around and sits down on the floor right in front of me. He reaches for my hand and I allow him to take mine in his. "I'm sorry we got interrupted." He says with a smile. "I want you to know that I'm serious about this. Your not just a phase.... I don't know if I'm bi or gay but I know that I am falling for you and to me that's all that matter." I smile back at him. Still in disbelieve that this is really happening. I slide down from the couch and end up on his lap. Wrapping myself around him and breathing this moment in. I rest my chin on his shoulder closing my eyes not wanting this moment to end. "I still can't believe that you flew all the way to Australia to see me." I say. In this moment the happiest human on earth. "I always would." He says.