All I've been searching for..

Chapter 19 - Morning after

Ishaan slowly opened his eyes the next morning. He carefully looked to his left and saw Muskaan peacefully sleeping. She looked beautiful, as innocent as an angel. He smiled at her. Ishaan wished he could wake up next to her every day. It was a beautiful sight. A few minutes later Muskaan woke up as well.

"Good morning." She mumbled while she rubbed her eyes to awake fully.

"Good morning princess, how did you sleep?" Ishaan said with a big grin. It was the first time he was truly happy in a long time. He was sure this time nobody would break them apart. They just belonged together.

"Good thank you and you?"

"Next to you perfect."
Muskaan smiled a little at him. She didn't know if she could feel the same happiness. Also how was it possible for her to feel anything besides guilt and regret. Last night was something she had always dreamed off. But now she was disappointed in herself. She had promised herself not to fall for him again, but it was as if he had put her under his spell. Muskaan felt awful. How could've she cheated on Alexandre. He had done everything for her and made her so happy. And she just threw everything away for a night of lust and craving.

"Are you alright? You seem upset?" Ishaan asked worried. She took a deep breath. She couldn't lie to him. Maybe she didn't totally regret what had happened last night, because even if she didn't admit it she loved him.
"It's about last night. Ishaan I wouldn't take it back, but it was wrong.."

Ishaan looked at her confused. He was trying to solve the puzzle he was throwing at her. Had she regret their intimate sharing? Didn't she enjoy it?
"What do you mean?"

"I just feel bad.. I mean how will I explain this to Alex?"
Ishaan took Muskaan in his arms and tried to comfort her.

"It's going to be fine, I'll be there for you! Besides remember that the power of love is stronger than anything else."
Muskaan tried to form a smile.
She stood up and made herself look somewhat presentable.

"I should go now.. I dont want him to wonder where I am."

"Muskaan, will you break up with him? Call off the wedding?"
Muskaan hesitated for a bit. She wasn't sure what her heart wanted anymore. Her heart was fighting with her mind. Was it possible to love two people at the same time? Whatever she was doing she had to choose between one of them soon. It wasn't fair to neither of them. She didn't want to end up hurting one of them or being left alone.

"If he's home I will." She said trying to ease his worries. She kissed his check and left. Muskaan made her way back home. On her way home she thought a lot. Muskaan always wanted to be with Ishaan and now when she has the chance she doesn't know anymore. It was no secret how much she loved him. But she wasn't sure if she could be with him. Where was her guarantee that he wouldn't get bored of her and hurt her once again and leave her? With Alex she was happy and it was genuine. He never hurt her. But she just didn't feel the same as with Ishaan. She finally arrived at home and went inside.

"Hey love! I missed you!" Alexandre said as he greeted her with a kiss. She kissed him back, because she didn't want to worry him yet. But her heart had settled on Ishaan. She just didn't feel the same in his kiss as Ishaan's.

"You look nervous, is everything alright?" He asked concerned.
Muskaan nodded, how was she going to drop that bombshell on him.

"Yes everything is fine.." she lied.
Alex walked to the couch with her and sat down.

"Come on I can see something is troubling you, tell me!"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes of course!"
Muskaan didn't know where and how to start. She looked at her engagement ring and started crying. She felt like the most horrible person on earth. She knew he was never going to forgive her, but she just had to risk it in order to be truly happy. She took off her engagement ring and gave it to him.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Alex.. I can't marry you."

"What why?!"

"Because I don't love you anymore."

"You're kidding me right?! This is a bad prank Muskaan."

"I'm not pranking you.." she said sadly.

"It's Ishaan isn't it!!? Just as you're back you're practically jumping into his arms."

Muskaan remained silent. She couldn't deny it. It would be a big lie.

"Tell me is it because of him!?"

"I-.. Alex.. yes.. it.. no.. I don't know."

"Oh my god did you sleep with him!!??"
Once again she remained silent.

"Muskaan you whore, you disgust me! How could you do this to me? Go and never come back!"

"Alex please.."

"You really think I would forgive you? After all this, no go I don't want to see you anymore! You did this to yourself. Go have fun with him. I wonder how long that will last with his cheating ass!"

"Alex stop it!" She cried.

"You cheated on me I can't believe it!!" Anger built up in him. So much anger and frust that he just slapped her. Muskaan caressed her cheek. It pained, but not as much as the pain he caused him. She deserved the slap she assumed. Muskaan ran up to her room and packed all of her stuff as fast as she could. Before leaving she looked at Alex one more time.

"I hope one day you will be able to forgive me.." she said and left.