I'm sorry (Jaspar Fanfiction)

Chapter 5 *trigger warning

Joes POV-
All day I faked smiles and pretended to have fun. I would always look into his eyes they sparked, but also looked a part of them looked lost and helpless. I can't believe I did this and I don't even remembered what happened.
"Joe? Do you want to get some food." He asked pointing at a Nando's across the street. I still felt sick and nauseous from my actions and thoughts. the sound of food just made me want to throw up.
"I'm not really hungry, but if you want to get something I'll wait." I said trailing off word by word.
"Okay so something is clearly wrong with you so just say it, and don't go all 'oh I'm fine' because I know that your not!" Caspar said.
I, t-theres no, I'm" I tried speaking but couldn't get anything out.
"I thought you could trust me, I guess we're not as good as friends as I thought." He stated walking away.
"No Caspar PLEASE!" I shouted but I was too late. He was already gone and out of my life.
**** (trigger starts here so read over this if you want)
I stood in front of my bathroom mirror. My face red from crying, my hair sticking up everywhere and the dark circles under my eyes that couldn't be covered up with anything.
"God your so pathetic. Crying over someone who will never love you, probably never even liked you as a friend in the first place. You saw his face, you hurt him... A lot. He's never coming back you know. He hates you and thinks you don't trust him. What a horrible friend you are. Why don't you just kill yourself..." The voices said taunting me.
Suddenly they stopped as if the thought hung in the air for ages.
I didn't have any family who cared, they all hate me for being gay. I don't have Zoe anymore (a/n no hate to Zoe!), she's to caught up in her relationship with Alfie to care. My friends, please. They don't care at all. I took the sliver object that was in my hand is grazed it over my skin, going slightly deeper each time.
"Your worthless, Caspar was smart to leave you," the voices continued to speak to me.
After about 15 or 16 cuts on each arms I stopped. They helped.
I felt instantly better, I went to move onto my thighs when I realized,

I was screwed. Why? Because I heard the house door open, and a slight voice.
"Joe, where are you? We need to talk!"
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I know realize how fast this story is moving... Oh well
Thank you everyone who is reading:) ily all
Teehee