I'm sorry (Jaspar Fanfiction)

Chapter 8 (little trigger warning)

Joe's POV-
The day that he stopped checking, was the day I started again. I haven't seen Caspar, except early in the morning, or late at night. Even then I got only an "Hey" or "Oh didn't think you were awake" and he would leave right away.
My Youtube videos have been lacking quality, I was thinking of quitting soon, I didn't have the energy anymore.
My anxiety has been growing and my Depression got worse.
The wrists got worse and worse, pale from the loss of blood. My thighs were now getting lined. I felt like carving all my skin off. Is this what it's like? Feeling so alone that no one cares. Friends came and go, I acted like I was fine, perfect actually. But I was constantly in fear that my sleeves would give it away. But soon all of them disappeared too. I was left alone, left with no one. I slowly backed away from my subscribes, until today. I set up my camera and everything as normal but this one was different, this one was my last. I pressed record,
"Hello everybody. So this isn't easy for me but I'm sorry. I will be leaving my Youtube channel. I won't delete it, I still want the memories," of me and Caspar I said in my head "I hope you all accept my decision and support me with it. I love you all." I said and turned it off. Without editing I uploaded it right away. I got tons of comments concerned about me but I expected that. It's what's best for them.
*****
The news of me deleting my channel wore off after about a week and most people moved on.
Caspar didn't come home anymore
My friends never visited or even called
So really everyone moved on.
***** (a/n I'm sorry for time skips!)
"Joe I have to talk to you," Caspar said a tear running down his face.
"What's up," I said with a fake smile. He hasn't even noticed my account or anything.
"I'm moving out," he said.
I felt as if my world was crashing down beneath me. The air escaped my body in one fluent movement. The floor came out from beneath me and I felt myself falling. And you know what I did,
"That's okay, really I'm happy for you," I said smiling.
"Are you sure? We have been living together for so long a-" he started.
"Seriously I can take care of myself," I said still smiling. But all a fake act.
"Thank you so much," he said smiling and hugged me. I felt a shock as if all the energy was drained out of my body.
"I'll go pack then," he said walking to his room.
I scratched at my scars, I was so done. With this, with life.
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Thanks for reading:)
The story will start calming down soon just keep going with it;)