I'm sorry (Jaspar Fanfiction)

Chapter 11

Joe's POV-
I was laying in bed now still terrified. I was feeling anxious about to have an attack. Caspar was getting me more blankets from the other room and tears were still falling down my face. I still felt like I didn't belong. I looked under my sleeve and saw how red my arms were. 'Does he know?' I wondered to myself. I started shaking. As if he could read my mind, he came by my side and put the blankets around my softly. I gave him a weak smile but I was still shaking a bit. He layed down against my head board and brought he into his arms like he did when I was having an attack. I buried my head in his shoulder.
"I-I'm sorry C-C-Caspar," I mumbled into his sleeve. He probably hates me for almost killing myself.
"Why are You saying sorry!" He asked looking me straight in the eye. Emphasizing the You.
"F-for h-having to deal w-with me. I-I don't d-deserve any o-of this. N-no one c-cares," I said my body trembling again at the thought that he really doesn't care. Just as I thought I was calming down.
He hasn't been in contact. He's just going to hurt you.
"But you have friends and subscribers who care!"'he said trying to cheer me up. I shook some more.
"F-friends stopped v-v-visiting and I-I q-quit Y-Y-Youtube," each word I said was getting harder and harder to pronounce. You would think that someone would run out of tears, nope.
"When? Why?" He asked clearly surprised by the news.
"A-about a m-month ago and b-because t-they deserved b-b-better then me," I said more tears forming. They fell quickly.
"But Joe you ha-" he stopped when he looked into me, as if he were reading my thoughts he stopped. As if he really studied my face. As if he finally payed attention to me.
"W-what?" I asked lifting my head up more. My eyes grew heavier and heavier as if my body wanted to just relax from a bit. Get a break.
And maybe never wake up.
"I have shaken you up even more then how you were at the bridge. We will talk more tomorrow okay?" He said and I nodded. I wasn't prepared but I knew it had to be done. Maybe he would make me feel better. Maybe someone would listen, and care.
"Good night Joe," he said turning off the lights. He kissed the top of my head and brought me into his arms again.
"I really care about you, don't forget that." He said drawing circles across my knuckles.
"T-thank you C-Caspar," I whispered.
For once in a long time, I felt safe laying in his arms,
I felt wanted. Caspar cared, so what else mattered?
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Awe cute:)
The story will start calming down and taking it a little bit easier so it won't feel as rushed:)
Hope everyone is enjoying!
I'm out of pre-written chapters so it may be a couple of days before the next update... Sorry;)