A Complicated Heart

Please Believe Me

Please Believe Me?

Stevie finished what she needed to do in her dressing room and then she had to go and find Lindsey, she couldn’t wait any longer to talk to him

She left the venue and went straight to the hotel, and more importantly straight to Lindsey, she walked through the doors and ignored everyone that tried to make contact with her, she went up to Lindsey’s floor and just preyed that he hadn’t already left and gone back home...without her

Stevie reached his room, and used the card that reception had very kindly given her, she opened the door and walked in, the whole room was dark and she couldn’t see that anyone was in bed; it was then that she heard the shower running and saw the light cascading from under the door

She slowly approached and opened the door, she saw Lindsey standing in the shower with his back to her and both of his hands on the wall in front of him, his head hung low

Without a word Stevie quickly but quietly removed the clothes that she wore and stepped in the shower

Lindsey jumped when he felt two arms come around his waist and what felt like a cheek pressed to his back

“Lindsey, I didn’t mean what I said, please believe me baby” she was worried when he took his hands and used them to remove her arms from around him, then sighed relief when he quickly turned around and brought her to him for a tight hug, he buried his face in his ‘safeplace’ which was her hair and neck, he mostly did this when he felt vulnerable, he now finally spoke

“I know Steph, and I’m so so sorry that you thought I did” he moved backwards slightly so they were both under the spray from the shower

 “You knew? Then why...?”

“Because it took me back Stevie” he looked into her eyes “It hit me hard enough that it took me back to the begging then all through my life, all the mistakes I’ve made, all of the bad choices...and most importantly Steph, how many damn times I’ve hurt you” he had tears in his eyes, but they were nothing compared to hers right now

“Oh Lindsey, the past is called the past for a reason! And you don’t hurt me anymore so you don’t have to worry about that part” she stroked his cheek the whole time

“I don’t hurt you anymore? Stevie I’m fucking married to someone else, how the hell is that not hurting you?” Stevie was taken aback by his sudden outburst

“Lindsey it doesn’t matter, I know you love me, and I chose to be the other woman, so it’s entirely my fault” Lindsey got out the shower and wrapped one of the hotel robes around himself, Stevie followed and did the same

“And that sentence is exactly why I didn’t want to start something with you again, the phrase ‘Other woman’ Stevie” his voice was a little louder than before

“No because it means I at least get to have you sometimes, and that’s all that matters” her tears were threatening to fall as she tried to tell him

“And meanwhile you have to sit there and wait, and wonder whether whilst you’re lying in bed at night I’m at my house, fucking my wife”

Stevie walked up and slapped him hard across the face

“SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP” Stevie screamed at him

The slap had snapped Lindsey straight out of his hysterical rage; he didn’t really mean a scrap of what he just said he just over thought too much. The first thing he did was pull the front of the robe Stevie was wearing and pulled her once again to his chest, he cradled the back of her head as she cried and he kept whispering in her ear

“I’m so sorry”

“I didn’t mean most of that”

 “I love you”

Stevie calmed her crying down, and looked up at Lindsey

“I know, but please, I’m begging you Lindsey don’t say anything like that again, I can’t handle it” she didn’t take her eyes off him

“I just don’t know how you can do it” he said finally

“If it was me, I would not settle for just being the bit on the side, If I couldn’t have you all I wouldn’t want you at all, as selfish as that sounds”

“It’s not selfish; I think the same occasionally, but Lindsey...where are you going with this?” she asked worriedly

“I made such a terrible mistake all those years ago; it should have been you, you as my wife, mother of my children, the only woman in my life”

“Lindsey you’re worrying me!” he ignored her and carried on

“I made my bed Stevie...now I have to lay in it whether I want to or not” he told her, trying to ignore the guilt he felt when he saw her tears fall

“Linds, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying, you deserve someone better than me, someone that you can have with you 24/7, someone who won’t ever leave you, and I can’t be that person Stevie, I can’t make you happy, we had our chances and I blew each and every one” He felt his own tears on his face now

“Lindsey, no, you don’t mean that, please tell me you don’t think that! I love you baby, I don’t want anyone else; no one could ever come close to making me feel how you do! You’re killing me here Linds”

“See I told you, I hurt you all the time” Lindsey replied

“Lindsey...Please don’t leave me”

I really hope you're still enjoying this story! As always some feedback would be so very much appreciated! :) xo