Just You and I

Chapter 16

I leant on the hood of my car and waited for Kathy to show up. I was five minutes early, which gave me some time to think about whether I was doing the right thing. The previous night had been rather sleepless and had led to me wondering the worst things that could happen by telling Kathy I liked someone else. And honestly what I thought of didn't really encourage me to tell her. But I had too. I couldn't string her long anymore. 

At exactly 7:43 I saw her mom's car come up to the entrance of the parking lot and Kathy got off and gave her mom a quick wave before she turned around and locked eyes with me. To be honest she didn't really seem like her usual cheery self. I mean she was smiling, but she just didn't seem happy. Almost like she knew what was coming but didn't want to face the truth. 

'Heyy Jakey. Good morning.' I could tell she was really trying hard to show me her smile. She was really upset. 

'Good morning Kath. Did you get home okay last night? Thank you so much for the dinner it really saved us a whole bunch of reckless cooking' I admitted scratching the back of my head. 

She just looked at me again and smiled again. That sad smile. 'I got home okay, yeah. And yeah I was happy to help. Soo, what did you want to talk about?'

'Okay so, about that... I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now but honestly I just needed to make sure that I knew exactly what I was feeling before I ended up hurting you even more. And I'm really sorry if this does hurt you in any way, I really don't mean for that to happen to you. But I just thought I should finally come clean with you. Kathy I like boys. I mean I like boys AND girls.. but yeah.. I like boys...'

She said nothing. She just stared at my face looking like she expected me to say something comPLETELY different. 'Kath I'm so so sorry I couldn't tell you sooner. It's just.... I've liked this one guy for some time now... but I just didn't think that I would EVER have feelings for this guy. But I do. And I tried to stop them. But I couldn't. And Kathy I'm really really really sorry for having to do this to you. You're an amazing person and honestly I think you deserve better. Much MUCH better than me...'

She was still completely silent. I didn't really have anything else to that so I just stood there in front of her dying for her to respond to me. She wasn't looking at me anymore she was looking at the ground. 'Please say something...'

Silence for a few more minutes. But then she looked back up at me and into my eyes. Her eyes had watered up the slightest bit but she smiled ever-so-slightly --sort of like she was hurt but happy at the same time. 

'Why couldn't you tell me about it though?'

'I.. I don't know... I just didn't want to hurt you.. I thought I'd be able to get rid of my feelings for this guy but I just.. couldn't.'

'It's.. It's fine Jake. I mean not gonna lie it really does hurt a little, but I'll be okay' she smiled at me. I honestly loved seeing her smile, it was so refreshing. Kinda takes you away from all your problems. She put her arms around me and took me into a hug. 'To be honest when you texted me this morning, I was almost entirely sure that you wanted to break up with me. I mean we've literally only been dating for almost a month now but you've been kinda distant with me lately. So I thought maybe you didn't like me anymore... But in a way I guess it's good to hear that the only reason we're breaking up is cuz you're gay, and not because I'm an annoying girlfriend'  she laughed.

'Kathy I promise you you were an amazing girlfriend in that one month we were together' I smiled at her. 'And I know for a fact that you'll be an amazing girlfriend to somebody who deserves you even more.' 

She wrapped me a little tighter in her arms for a few seconds before letting go, and she moved away to lean on the hood of the car. 

'Does anyone else know the you like boys...?'