Just You and I

Chapter 14

'Excuse me?'

'I mean you don't have to play dumb Jake I saw you in the crowd during the game... Were you there to see me....?'

Goddammit it's like he sees right through me.

'Oh c'mon Alex don't be dumb. Why on earth would I come to see you? I didn't have anything better to do so I was at the game to watch our school's team play'

'Oh... okay then I guess....'

Wait wait — was Alex actually disappointed??

'So how's your girlfriend?'

Holy shit. KATHY. I'd completely forgotten to text or even call her since I got here and it's been almost two days.

'Ohhh.. you forgotten to call her didn't you?' A small smirk in his tone.

'I didn't forget Moody just mind your own damn business.'

'Well if I were you I'd be on the phone with her right now, and not talking to my enemy' he told me playfully, but I his joke didn't sit well with me.

'You still think we're enemies? I mean i'd at the very least say we're the occasional hooking-up kind of couple don't you think?'

Before I could even think, I felt a sharp pain stinging my left cheek. I brought my hand up to where Alex had just slapped me. My eyes locked onto his and he was clearly in pain. His tears just seemed to be on the brink of letting loose. I'd never seen Alex cry before. I don't think anyone ever has. He's probably on elf the most strongest people I know and he never let anything get to him. But here he was about to breakdown, and it's because of something I said. Looking at him, I completely forgot my pain and all I wanted to do right then was hug him.

And I did.

I took his arm and pulled him into my chest and just wrapped my arms around him. One hand stayed around his waist and the other went up to tangle into his hair in consolation. At first he went completely stiff —so stiff I thought he'd try to pull away. But instead he brought his arms around me and clung on to me, almost like I'm the last person left on earth. And then he started crying. Gently sobbing at first, which graduated into at least ten minutes of his tears staining my white back t-shirt, which of course I didn't mind at all. His arms slowly lost it's intense grip on me but I still held him in my arms. And since he was significantly shorter than me I could easily rest my chin on his head.

Somewhere during the time we had moved from standing in the middle of the bar, to a small couch in the corner where we wouldn't really be disturbed.

I felt Alex slowly starting to pull away from me and I gave him space, although I instantly missed the heat of his body on me. His eyes were now slightly red and puffed up from his intense crying session. I brought my hand to his face and wiped away the tears staining his perfect face, and he unintentionally starting leaning into my hand.

This was the real Alex. I'd always known that behind his competitive, arrogant and rude exterior there had to be something more. But I'd never seen him open up to anyone until today. And I felt so blessed to be able to hold him right now. But it was all wrong. It was very obvious that he wasn't gay. He was just confused and I think he needed someone and I was probably the one person he could trust despite our differences. I was merely his emotional sponge and nothing more. I couldn't be developing feelings for him I would only get hurt even more.

But I couldn't stop myself from liking him. I mean at this point I was almost certain that I'd fallen in love with everything about him. Despite the fact that he'd never spoken to me nicely in public and he'd always had it out for me, he was so easy to talk to and definitely incredible in bed. Not to mention I he was the first boy I'd ever kissed. He was incredibly special to me. I really didn't wanna lose him.

'I'm sorry Jake... I really am... I didn't mean to break down like that. It's just... What you said.. I wasn't really comfortable with it...'

'I know and you have no idea how sorry I am Alex, I really didn't mean for you to cry. It just kinda blurted out of me. I mean when you said we were enemies again especially after all those pretty special nights I didn't really want you to think we still hated each other. I mean deep down I kinda wanted you to actually like me back but I knew that wouldn't happen so I was trying to stay away but it was just getting so ha—'

'Like you back....?'

Fuck. fuCKK. I was rambling. Why did I even SAY that??? What would he even think of me now?? Oh god, would we go back to being enemies? Or even worse... complete strangers....??

'You like me....?' His whole expression was completely unreadable.

I'm screwed. 'I'm sorry Alex I did nOT mean to just blurt that out. I'm really sorry. I just didn't want us to go back to being rivals or whatever.... I'm sorry.....'

He was silent for a while. He was just at his palms on his lap. And I still couldn't read his expression.

'Did you mean it..? Do you really like me Jake? He finally looked up into my eyes and I froze.

I didn't really know what I could possibly say that wouldn't hurt him. I mean the only two answers I could give him would both be painful to hear for him —mostly because he was straight.

But I risked it and said 'yes'.

Alex's face changed and he looked... disappointed...? Sad.....? Annoyed...?? He shifted his body towards me and looked me dead in the eyes.

'Look Jake.. You're amazing. You really are. But my answer's no. I mean no I do not like you back. And no I don't think we should keep doing whatever we've been doing recently. Partially because you have a girlfriend who's probably worried sick about you since I'm guessing she hasn't heard from you in like two days. But mainly because I'm straight Jacob. I... I like girls. And as much as I hate to admit it, no matter how could a kisser you are—' his gaze unintentionally flicked down to my lips and back up to my eyes, making me gulp in restraint. ' —I still wouldn't be able to like you the way you want me to. Because I've always liked girls and that's not gonna change. I just want you to understand that, cuz I really don't want to hurt you. And I'm sorry if I've led you on to kissing me the last few times, but that was simply because I was either drunk or not in my right mind. So I'm sorry again Jake but I simply can't accept your feelings...'

He sat up from the couch and turned to face me again.

'You've got your game tomorrow so you better rest. I'll see you tomorrow..'

And with the smallest and saddest smile I've ever seen on the boy, Alex turned and walked away from me.

I watched as he turned the corner and disappeared from view, leaving me crying in a secluded corner of the unusually quiet bar. 

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15th part will be up as soon as possible. Sorry for the wait ¤_¤

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