You Just Think You Know Me

The Move Back To SC

After my dad died, that meant my mom was alone with no source of income. Meaning we had to go back home after the funeral and pack up to move. Wasn't planning on moving everything in one day but sometimes you have to do what's got to be done. Let me just say, moving five people in one day - is very difficult. However, we managed to do it and was in SC by October 26th.

We all moved in with my mom, so we could pay her bills until I was able to get her SSI back for her. They took it away when my dad was getting disability. This was NOT my ideal situation at all. Living with my mother is hell. She is a narcissist, which means no matter what we done – it was wrong! I don't know how my dad was able to deal with her until he passed away. Other than he was a truck driver and wasn't there for most of their marriage. He didn't live long after losing his job and getting on disability either.

Things went good for a few weeks, but then my mom started talking bad about my dad. Saying he shouldn't have left her, she was so mad at him, and no one knew what kind of man he was. She made it sound like he was some awful person, and he wasn't! He was nothing but good to her, he put up with her when no one else would. To make matters worse she was saying these things in front of my babies. They would start crying and she would just roll her eyes like a child. I mean really, what kind of person would talk bad about such a good person? Especially when they've passed away and they're not even there to defend themselves. My mother would - that's who!

I ended up getting a job because we needed to hurry and get out of there. The money I made at my job with Fred's money he was making only paid her bills though. She would get mad because we wouldn't give her money for cigarettes. That's all she cared about! We told her we were paying her bills with the money we had and she would say, "Well I didn't ask you too!" She was so ungrateful for any and everything we did for her. We never once got a thank you from her. What we did get was phone calls from my granny telling us we better be good to her daughter. Apparently, she was telling my granny lies about us and my granny was believing her because she was only hearing my mom's side of the story. My granny had no clue how her daughter was behind closed doors or how she was the whole time I was growing up as I never told anyone. I'd say I was shocked, but I wasn't shocked at all. Nothing my mother does ever surprises me.

The place I started working at was owned by Dannie and Debbie Abercrombie. These two saved my life by just giving me a job. I was able to get away from my mother for a couple hours a day. Debbie and I quickly became really close - like we truly bonded. I even started calling her mama! She is a wonderful woman, if only she was my real mom. I look forward to going into work every day, because I got to see my "mom". She brightens my day, even when she gets mad and overwhelmed. We are both Aquarius, and we have the same type of personality. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her!

The days were turning into months, and the state of SC still wouldn't give my mother her SSI. Which meant we still couldn't move out. I was going crazy! All five of us was sleeping in one room at my moms house, it was getting old really quick. My mother had a craft room that she hadn't touched in years, but she wouldn't let us clean it out so we would have two rooms; verses one for all five of us. We were living a nightmare! I was on the verge of suicide again, and just wanted out. I couldn't take it anymore. One way or another we were going to move out!

You would have thought that moving back here, meant that I would see my friends more. That wasn't the case! I had just lost my dad, my mom was being beyond ridiculous, my family of five was living in one little room, and I was going crazy – I found myself on the verge of suicide once again. I needed someone to talk too. However, no one was there for me. Amandia told me she'd be there for me. However, she started talking to this guy and of course started ignoring me again like she done every time she was with someone.  Fred even told her I needed a friend, but she still didn't call, text or check up on me. Her Aunt Angie, whom I still haven't met ended up messaging me when she seen how depressed I was. I'm sure she wasn't expecting me to fill up her inbox on Facebook, but I did. I just needed to vent! I was so exhausted from holding everything in. I just needed to be able to breathe again. Angie didn't mind though, she talked to me every day for a while. We still talk almost every day. She doesn't know it, but just her reaching out the way she did, saved my life then. After the way Amandia treated me this time, I was finally done with that friendship! It just wasn't worth it. 

In January, my mother finally got approved for her SSI, and that's when we started really looking for a place to live. We also started saving our money, which meant she had to pay her own bills. She hated that because she wanted her money to spend on cigarettes and whatever else she wanted. But I let her know she didn't have a choice - we were moving out and needed our money to do so. The third week in January, we finally found a house and it was going to be ours! No more renting, we were going to be home owners this time. I was excited, it was the perfect birthday gift for me.