Unhinged; Han Jisung.

twelve.

- tw: mention of death, mention of mental health.

- i added the song so that you guys could play it while reading that chapter, that way you get a better feel of the emotion. you can start playing it as soon as you start reading.

-italicized text is a dream.

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"This will break her, Director!" Chan exclaimed. "We didn't know that she was going to lose the baby right before we execute this. Right now, she needs Jisung."

"I know, but Y/N is strong. She'll be okay on her own. I will not wait any longer to find the source of this threat. Am I understood?"

Chan paused and stared at Director Yoon. "Understood, Sir."

"Good."

Chan left his office and shut the door, facing the seven boys waiting for an answer. "The plan is ordered to still be executed. No negotiating with him."

"I don't know if I can just leave her after we lost our baby, Chan." Jisung whispered. "I don't know what that will do to her."

"The director said she'll be okay, Jisung. She's strong." Chan said as he checked his watch. "You should probably head out, though."

"Miss L/N!"

Your back was to the door, but you almost jumped at the voice in the doorway, yet you slowly sat up and turned. "Blade."

She smiled sadly and sat on your bed with you. "Chan told me what happened. Does it hurt?"

"Which part? The bullet hole in my stomach, or the absence of a child?"

Her lips parted and her eyes glossed over. "He didn't tell me that you lost the baby."

The pain waved over your body once again, and you shook your head in an attempt to keep the tears in. "I knew it as soon as he shot me, but-"

She pulled you into a hug as you sobbed. "Y/N. I am so sorry."

"Biyu," you paused. "I don't think I'll ever be normal again. I feel so detached."

"I don't know what to say."

"That's okay." You sniffled. "You being here helps. I think I need human interaction if I'm going to recover properly."

"Exactly." She nodded into your hair. "Rather than isolating yourself like you do with everything else."

There was a knocking at your door, and Chan popped his head in. His body language made your heart stop.

"Blade, can Y/N and I have a moment?" Blade nodded and gave you a glance before she left the room. "Where's Ki-Bum?"

"He stepped out to get breakfast." You paused and scooted closer to him. "Chan, whats wrong?"

His eyes glossed over, just like Blade's had moments earlier, and he looked anywhere but at you. "Y/N, I don't know how to tell you this-"

"Is it Jisung?" He looked at you and swallowed hard, and you stopped breathing. "What happened to him, Chan!"

"He went to the agency early this morning to finish paperwork, and on his way home," Chan trailed off. "He didn't make it home."

You grabbed his hand, your grip tight. "What happened?"

"He got into an accident, Y/N. It was so bad that-" his voice broke and a few tears slipped from his eyes. "He was pronounced dead on the scene."

Your voice caught in your throat and it felt like your body shut down. "Tell me this is a sick joke!"

Chan looked down and shook his head. "I wish it was, Y/N."

Your vision blurred and you threw your blanket off your body, pulling the IV's out of your arms and forcing yourself out of the bed. You ran to the door and opened it, trying to run out but Chan wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you back. You grabbed the doorframe and fought to keep from going back in that hospital bed.

"No!" You screamed. "Let go of me! Take me to see him!"

You screamed and sobbed and your body went limp. In the hallway, Blade's heart shattered at the way your voice broke every time you would scream for Jisung.

Chan dragged you back to your bed. Your body had shut down, and Chan just laid you there, where you kept your eyes on the ceiling, almost lifelessly. The emptiness you felt had gotten so much greater with the news of Jisung, and you felt an insurmountable pain in your chest, but you also felt numb.

The nurses and doctors rushed back in to hook you back up to the machines in your room. They were talking to you, but you didn't hear one thing they were saying. They were holding their small flashlights up to your eyes, and calling out your name, but you couldn't respond.

Next thing the doctors knew, you were crashing. "We need to defibrillate her!"

So they did, and it took three good shocks to get your statistics back to where they needed to be. Yet you still laid there, not responding to anything that anyone was asking you. Chan left the room as the doctors got you comfortable again.

"What the hell just happened to Y/N! Did she just flatline!" Blade yelled. "What happened in there, Chris!"

"She's okay." Chan said. "Look, we need to go somewhere else, okay?"

Ki-Bum wasn't by your side when you woke up, and it was so quiet in the room that it seemed not a living soul was near by at all. You sat up, but before you could, something pulled you back and leather straps chained you to your bed. You pulled against them, but it was no use, they were on there tight.

"Y/N."

You looked to your left, where your mother sat in the chair that Ki-Bum should've been sitting in.

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

"I'm here too, Y/N!"

Sitting at your feet was Seoyoon, and it felt like your breath was being pulled from your lungs. Coworkers that you lost were popping up all over the room, then he showed up, with one hand in yours and his other hand securing the baby cradled in his right arm.

"Jisung?"

He looked over at your small form. "Hi, baby. Do you want to hold her?"

"Yes." You said breathlessly. "Yes, please."

He reached over to hand her to you, but before she could be placed in your fragile arms, she disappeared, then Jisung did, his hand fading out of yours. Everyone else followed, dissipating into the air, except for your mother.

You let your head fall back onto your pillow and your vision shifted to your left, where your mother was shaking her head.

"Why are we here?" You questioned. "Why bring everyone that I've loved and lost back?"

"I didn't bring them here. You did." She said. "You miss them."

"Yeah, of course I miss them, Mom." You choked up, holding back tears. "My family, my friends, my loving boyfriend and would've been first born."

"I know." She whispered. "When your pregnancy was confirmed I was congratulating you, you know? When they said you lost the baby, I was mourning for you."

"Why are you here, Mom?" You spoke up again. "You've been avoiding that ever since I asked."

"I'm trying to shed some light for you, Y/N. Just stay strong."

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