After The War

Chapter 22 Nesta

Nesta's pov

I was still on the ground four and a half hours later when Cassian got back to the clearing.

I didn't know how I felt about what I did.

I knew that I did have feelings for the male, and now that I had been sober for a while, what I had started feeling before the war ended was coming back.

When I had kissed him on the battle field, I thought we where both goners.

But when we got home or his and Feyre's home, what had happened came crashing down on me.

And I realized now that the morning of my father was what I didn't process right.

If I had maybe talked to my sisters maybe they could have helped me.

But didn't want their help, I wanted to be misserible.

I wanted to hurt for thinking of my father in such a way.

For saying he was useless and didn't care for us.

Because when it mattered he did love us and me.

Cassian landed in front of me gently.

"Come on, we need to get to the camp before it gets dark."

I nodded and stood up.

"I'm sorry."

Cassian stood there staring at me like I had turned my head like an owl.

"What now? I didn't know you knew how to apologise?!"

"Feyre sent me up here to get back to who I was before, and even though I wasn't that nice then I know when I was in the wrong even if I didn't always apoligize. But I will if it means I get away from this place faster."

Cassian nodded, "What you did... I'm not going to say I didn't want it, but please not again for a while at least."

I nodded.

"As much as Feyre sending me here angers me, I'm sick of what I was before and I understand that she wants me to get better. For me to be apart of your family."

Cassian gave me a small smile and picked me up again, to continue out jurny to the camp.

I'm really sorry for not updating and I know this is short but hopefully I can get another out soon.

I hope everyone if home safe and doing well with the self isolation or lockdown.