Do you know how i lost i am without your lighting my path? Was i that bad you didn't look back and went away forever giving up on me altogether? Or did you keep waiting for me and i was just too busy to spare you a thought? Did i break your trust? Did i hurt your feelings? Did i shatter your pride, your faith in me?
I understand how mean i was. I realize how much i have hurt you now that you're no more here, by my side_ the me who only ever belongs to you is all alone in the true sense of the word. I know it's no use crying. You're never coming back are you. I have ruined everything for the both of us. The damage is irreparable. I deserve to suffer now. But it's all my fault, you didn't do anything wrong. So just be alright you. Don't cause yourself anymore pain than you already have. Please have a peaceful life ahead. Live forever in warmth and comfort.
But do i even have the right to wish for your happiness now? Haven't i caused enough damage? I want to pay dearly with my life for all the tears i brought you.How would i ever be able to atone for my sins? How do i take responsibility for all bad things i have caused you to happen. The crushing weight of my wrong doings is killing me. But it's not enough. I want my whole existence to writhe in agony. I want to disappear without a trace.
I want to give you back everything i took away from you. What do i do now_ how do i restore the happiness in your life that you've always deserved, please please i need help. I'm sorry for being so shameless now. But i don't know what to do without you. I am lost more than i ever was. I don't even know who i am anymore, i don't know where to begin and where to return to except holding onto the fragile chain that connects me to you_ your scent, your warmth, your light. I don't care for anything else. I have lost all want, all my desires. Everything is meaningless now.
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