The Wrong Number

42

"... So when you need to divide it, square it on both sides so it becomes easier. Like here for example, " Alankrita said, writing on her notebook and showing it to Ruhan, "we need to find the force first and because -Ruhan are you even listening to me?"

Ruhan's eyes snapped back to hers. "Yeah," he half yelped, "We need to use the force and stuff." Alankrita cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Whaaat?"

Alankrita rolled her eyes and after taking a sip of water went back to explaining. "As I was saying, the value of force is unknown so- okay you are definitely not listening to me this time." Alankrita said, snapping the book shut and consequently making Ruhan jump. Alankrita gave a short gasp when it dawned on her what he was looking at. "Are you staring down my shirt?"

Ruhan violently shook his head, but a glare from Alankrita made him sigh and say, "Yeah fine, I am okay? Sue me."

"Well, stop!"
"Fine, you didn't have to yell."
"It is offensive, idiot," Alankrita said through gritted teeth.
"Seriously? Don't women take it as a compliment when they see guys stare at them?"

Alankrita's jaw dropped. "Of course not!" she said, "Where did you get that idea?!" Ruhan shrugged, slightly worried about the way Alankrita was looking at him, saying, "I guess it's because when you pay attention to a woman you're giving her a compliment?"

Alankrita slapped her hands on the table, making her cup of water shake, and stood up. "There is a difference between sexual harassment and complimenting a lady. For example, 'Nice skirt' would be a compliment. 'Nice skirt, sexy' is harassment. The reason you guys think ogling at a woman is a compliment to her, is because you don't know the difference."

Ruhan gulped, suddenly feeling very guilty. She continued, "I mean, let's switch it around, alright? If you were walking down MG Road and a bunch of twenty-something-year old women went 'Hey handsome, why don't you show off your abs'? Do you think it'll make you feel any better about yourself?" Ruhan couldn't find the right words to say so he just stared at her from his chair. She sighed and said, "No, it won't," she pressed a hand to her head and said, "It'll make you feel scared and exposed." She sat back down with her eyes to her notebook. There was a heavy silence that made Ruhan want to sink further down his chair the longer it continued. He finally swallowed, his throat feeling quite dry, and murmured, "I'm sorry, I had no idea."

Alankrita looked up at him with a forced smile. "It's alright- at least you do now. Sorry if I scared you, I tend to be very passionate when I go on feminist rants."
"You're a feminist?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Nah, you don't really look like a feminist."

Alankrita scowled at him. "Feminists aren't ugly misandrists who have four eyes and a forked tongue, you know."

Ruhan widened his eyes and held his hands up in an apology. She continued, "Anyway, I think I deserve to get some payback for being so horrendously objectified." She leaned over and bonked him on the head with her text book, and he yelped. "Oi, that was so hard!" he cried, rubbing the back of his head. She rolled her eyes and said, "Stop, you big baby, I hardly hit you," and took a sip of water. Before the water had even reached her lips Ruhan got his hands on it and emptied its whole contents onto her.

There was moment of silence as Alankrita felt the cold drink slide down her neck.

"You have three seconds to get out of the house," she growled, "before I make shawarma out of you."

In the blink of an eye Ruhan jumped off his chair and sprinted to the living room, closely pursued by a raging Alankrita, slipping over the water dripping off her own shirt.

"Ruhan, if you track mud onto my mother's Persian rug a fate much worse than death will await you," Alankrita yelled as she leapt over the sofa. "What about the bean bag?" Ruhan said, as he narrowly dodged being caught by Alankrita.

"I'm going to kill you!"
"I think I'll pass."

"Argh!" Alankrita grumbled as she and Ruhan played musical chairs around the dining table, "I never should have picked up your call."

Ruhan stopped dead, causing her to barrel right into him and slippidy slide on the polished wooden floor, yanking him down with her with a "whoop!" She fell on the floor and he landed on his knees. Unfortunately his knees landed on her stomach.

"OUCH," Alankrita yelled, he slid off her, trying not to laugh as she doubled over clutching her abdomen. "Holy shit, Ruhan," she groaned, "Do you weigh like a tonne?" Ignoring her, he straddled her and rested his elbows on his knees.

"Get off, fatso," she said, evidently blushing. "You never gave me your number," he said, smiling, "and I'm pretty sure I never called you." Alankrita's eyes widened.

Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid

"Uh, no I meant my landline," she said, "Remember when I called you and asked you to come over the first time? I was talking about that."
"That makes no sense."
"You make no sense."

Ruhan laughed and said, "Oh sure, mock me when I have you pinned to the floor- smart move."
"Yeah... about that, I think my intestines are bruising."

Ruhan stuck his tongue out at her. Before he knew it, he was on his back with his arms held over his head gasping for air. Alankrita smirked from over him. "I told you I knew tae kwon do."

"But I thought tae kwon do was all about kicks!" he wheezed. She tilted her head and said, "I never said that was the only martial art form I knew," before releasing him and sitting on the floor with her legs folded as he rubbed his wrists. She smiled at him and he asked, "What?" She shook her head and said, "You're not half bad. For an airhead, of course," she added when she saw him smile. He laughed and replied, "You're not half bad, either. Heck, if you weren't so freaking hell bent upon making me the next school topper, I'd be crazy about you."

Alankrita laughed too, but stopped once she realized they technically hadn't done any studying at all that day. He must have realized it too and said, "Okay, I know that look- I'm going to leave now."

Alankrita didn't let it hit her until she heard his scooty splutter away. She fell onto the sofa and hugged a cushion. 'I'd be crazy about you' he'd said. Even if he was joking, he'd still said it. And that made her squeal as loud as she could into the cushion, wincing when her abdomen hurt when she did so.

*****