WHAT CAN I DO
"What am I to you? Do you even have feelings for me? Every time I meet you, you change. Feels like I know you but then I don' t ..."
*****
I heard a faint sound of music coming from one of the classrooms that I pass by habang ako' y nagmamadaling naglalakad papunta sa silid ni Ma' am Suico, first subject ko sa umaga.
Sandaling napatigil muna ako sa paglakad para tingnan kung saan nagmula ang ingay. Aren' t their Instructors allowed them to play a music inside their classroom? Sa pagkakaalam ko mahigpit na pinagbabawal 'yon lalo na' t nasa loob na ng silid ang mga Professors. Well, baka nagpagisipan lang siguro nila na pagpatugtog since wala pa naman silang Maestro as what' ve seen behind the windows.
Nagdesisyon akong magpatuloy nalang sa pagtungo at para makausap ko narin ang mga ka-barkada ko.
As I continue to keep on walking, I suddenly realize something when I saw one of my co-department. I notice that this person doesn' t wear the proper attire from the school' s etiquette rules were given, aside from that napansin ko rin na medyo tomboyish 'yung girl. As a Teacher Assistant, I find this act very rebellious and so plano ko sanang kausapin at sitain siya.
I' m about to approach the said girl when someone, intentionally grab my right shoulder in full force and let me face him/her.
"Hello Mei-Mei! Good morning ..." He cutely wave me with his hand while letting his signature gummy smile to slide in front of my face. Anong nakain ng lalakeng 'to at ang aga niyang pumasok ngayon? I suppose he' s in good mood to be an early bird today.
I immediately tilt my head away from him habang nag-cross ako ng braso. Nanibago ako sa maagang pagpasok ni Neil, may sumanib bang kakaibang espiritu habang natutulog siya kagabi?
"Anyare sa' yo at ang aga mong pumasok?" I asks him indirectly habang nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. Wondering if my guess is right.
"Huh? Diba sabi ni L. Sey sa groupchat maaga tayong papasok dahil sobra pa daw sa terror 'yung Professor na' tin sa first period? " He questioned his statement in half as if hindi rin siya sigurado sa mga sinasabi niya. Okay, stop evaluating his sudden action Mei-Mei ...
"Ewan, tsaka hindi naman talaga terror si Ma' am Suico, she' s just plainly strict and always abide to the rules of an early bird." I flatly said habang tumabi sakin si Neil at may iilang babae na dinadaanan namin na bigla nalang kikiligin sa harap niya mismo. Ang iba nama' y patago lang na tinitigan siya. Our ever-famous pretty boy and his unending charisma.
This kid, kailan kaya siya mauubusan ng admirers? Pati kasi mga Instructors namin na ga-gwapuhan din sa kanya. Too much charisma, Neil.
I' m curious why everybody adores him so much when frankly speaking he' s just a literal awkward bean that needs to be guided like a kid. Mga millenial talaga ngayon ang hilig sa good-looking 'di naman tinitingnan kung mabait ba ang tao o sadyang pervy lang.
"Nga pala Ate Mei-Mei, " Neil suddenly look at me.
"Why calling me 'Ate' all of sudden? " I try to tease our little pretty boy, though he' s actually and literally tall.
"Eh. . . May sorpresa kasi akong gagawin ngayon hapon, okay naman siguro sa' yo na tulungan mo ako Ate diba?"
Biglang tumibok ng malakas ang puso ko. Sino bang sosorpresahin niya?
"Sino?" Taas-kilay kong tanong.
"Secret." He stick out his tongue at dali-daling pumasok ng classroom.
Tumagos sa puso ko ang sinabi ni Neil sakin. Kasalanan ko din naman 'to. Hindi ko kasi sinabi sa kanya na gusto ko siya, matagal na. Kaya nga gumawa ako ng paraan para lagi kaming magkasama, iinisin ko siya kunwari para lagi niya akong hahabulin pero hearing him say those words parang nadurog ang puso ko, ang swerte naman ng babae na sopresahin niya.
I' m so stupid for not letting you know, Neitherneil.
-- The End --
"What can I do? I'm pathetic but what can I do? I just like being with you. I know I'm such a fool . . ."
- (What Can I Do, DAY6)
