I SMILE
"It' s been a while, I didn' t know you' d call first. 'If you' re free, let' s meet up.' How can I say no to that? It' s half excitement, half fear. Because what if you notice that I still miss you? . . ."
—————
I really hate parties.
I say that to myself over and over again but since I need to attend that' s why I don' t have a choice. I' m tired of being an obedient daughter. I hastily sit in the balcony while waiting for the party to come its end.
Slow breathing exercise. My anxiety is attacking my system again so I really need to calm myself first. I almost lost my balance while trying to sit on the nearest bench but I immediately caught up. I' ve decided to do my relaxation in breathing while staring at the beautiful night sky.
So it' s full moon today?
My body irked when I heard a sudden voice. I looked at my side then saw a guy sitting comfortably on the other sofa. His face wasn' t clear to my sight since there was no light. I heaved a sigh then looked at the night sky, again.
"Hey! I know we' re strangers but can I asks you a question?" His raspy voice felt like music to my ears but I instantly ignored it.
"You are already asking . . ." I deadpanned him.
"Heheheh. . . Sorry, so if—" He stopped midway then cleared his throat. "If you saw your ex here tonight, what will you do? . . ."
What an interesting question.
"I smile." I said bitterly.
"Why smile?" I imagined him arching his eyebrow.
"So that he won' t notice that I' m not over him. That even if he won' t smile to me, still I will smile for him. Even if it hurts, I smile. As if nothing happened." I smiled at the idea but my own words really pierced through my heart., it hurts to be honest.
"Oh! That' s a bit dramatic but yeah, I' ll do what you said . . ." Someone suddenly interrupted our conversation.
"Melanie, ba' t nandito ka? Akala ko nasa loob ka parin . . ." The person casually lit the and the place instantly glowed.
And when I turned my face to the guy who' s talking to me, I was left dumbfounded. I was speechless.
The guy whom I thought I won' t meet again after all the heartbreaks that I gave to him. . . He was smiling at me. He was smiling widely and brightly on me. Natulala ako sa biglaang pagkikita namin.
My heart throbbed fast because of guilt that I did the last time we meet on the coffee shop, our home. Nasasaktan ako sa ngiting pinapakita niya sakin. But just like what I promised, I also smiled back at him.
Bitterly, and damn it hurts . . .
— The End —
"But today I smile. Even if it hurts, I smile until the end. I pretend that I' m fine, I pretend that I' m okay. I have to. I smile, I smile. So once in a while we can meet with a smile. I must smile, I smile . . ."
– (I Smile, DAY6)
