Again ~ A Luke Brooks Love Story

Chapter 46

PAISLEY'S POV:

The three weeks between the meeting and Luke leaving for America were agony for me. Day after day, we just sat in our flat, unsure of what to say to each other. I wanted to pour out my feelings and beg him not to go, not to leave us, but I knew that was unfair. He didn't want to go, that much was obvious but that fact barely consoled me.

Luke kept having to go out to see Ronnie and the boys to finalise the details for the trip, leaving me home alone with my thoughts. After one of these trips, he came home looking very anxious and stressed-out. He kept sighing repeatedly and looking over at me like he was deep in though. Eventually, I couldn't stand it any longer. I went over to sit by him on the chair.

"Luke, what's the matter?" I asked softly.

He sighed deeply before replying. "I just feel so guilty about leaving you and Ava. I know we need the money and everything but I just wish I didn't have to go."

"C'mon, Luke," I said, trying to sound positive even though I agreed with him. "You'll have a great time with the others. Me and Ava will be just fine by ourselves."

"But how do I know that?" Luke argued. "I'm still angry at myself for all that time I left you alone before, especially when I think what could have happened to either of you."

"We'll be fine Luke," I repeated, trying to tell that to myself as well. "We've got your mum who we can go to now and it's not like I'm never going to see you."

"Do you want me to go?" Luke asked abruptly.

"No," I answered honestly. "But this isn't just about me. You have to think about yourself Luke and what is best for you. And if that involves going to America then you'll just have to do it."

"I'm going to miss you so much Paisley," he said, sighing deeply.

"I know but you'll have a great time,"I told him.

He smiled sadly at me, clearly not any more convinced by my argument than I was.

LUKE'S POV:

Mum drove me, Paisley and Ava to the airport on the day were we had to leave. Jai, Beau and Rosie followed behind in Beau's car.

Mum was overly bright and cheerful, pretending to be excited and masking her real feelings. I knew she was upset that we were all leaving her but at least this time she wouldn't have an empty house.

Ava was grumpy and sulky because she'd been woken up a couple of hours early. She had no idea that this was going to be the last time we spent time together for ages.

Paisley and I were silent, both staring out of our respective windows. I couldn't look at her because every time I did, I wanted to back out and just go home. But I couldn't do that.

When we got to the airport waiting lounge, everyone else was already there. James and his family were chatting together, James had an excited grin on his face. He had no qualms about going away but he would probably get homesick in a few weeks like he did last time. Daniel and his dad were talking with Ronnie and Mariam, both looking slightly bored. Daniel didn't seem to even care. I wasn't entirely sure he knew what was going on.

They all turned to look at us expectantly as our big group of people joined them. There were introductions and hugging and everything got caught up together. There so many people that I hadn't seen for ages that I almost began to enjoy myself but the circumstances made sure I couldn't quite.

Far too soon, the announcement to board our flight came over the Tanney speaker. Almost instantly, a silence fell over our group. Everyone stared round at each other with the same apprehensive expressions on their faces. Their excitement from just a few minutes ago was gone, replaced with shock. We were going. This was it.

My eyes sought out Paisley and focused on her. She caught my gaze, a sad half-smile on her face. All of a sudden, life burst back into the group. Frantic goodbyes were exchanged. James was hugging his parents and each of his three sisters; his mum had tears running down her face.

Similarly, Daniel was saying goodbye to his family, but they were trying to act more restrained.

Before I knew what was happening, Mum had enveloped me, Jai and Beau, all at the same time. Instead of whinging and complaining as we normally would, all three of us hugged her back, packing in unspoken words. When Mum finally released us, she had tears glistening in her eyes but still had a smile on her face. She gave each of us a kiss on the forehead, having to stretch up a little to reach. God, I was going to miss her.

She then nudged me in the direction of Paisley, who had been standing back tactfully with Rosie.

I didn't know what to say to her, but she solved that issue by flinging her arms around my neck and pulling me close to her. Without any hesitation, I pulled her into my chest, burying my nose into her sweet-smelling hair. I inhaled her scent, knowing I wouldn't be able to smell it again for so long.

"I love you," I whispered into her ear, my words nearly catching in my throat.

"I love you too," She replied, gazing up at me with her wide, mournful eyes.

I gave her a quick kiss on the lips and then I felt someone tugging on my arm.

"Come on Luke," Beau said in a subdued voice I had rarely heard before. "It's time to go."

"Two minutes," I begged.

Beau looked at Ronnie but he hadn't noticed me still standing there. He nodded and let go of me. I turned back to my girlfriend.

"Please don't let Ava forget about me," I said seriously.

Paisley nodded and handed Ava over to me, without needing to ask.

I held my daughter in my arms, hugging her tightly and trying to save pictures of this moment so I'd be able to remember it later. A lump formed in my throat as I realised I was actually going. I was leaving them.

"Luke, we really need to go," Beau said urgently.

This time, I nodded knowing I couldn't put it off any longer. I handed Ava back to Paisley and smiled at her one last time.

"Goodbye," I said quickly. "I love you both."

"We love you too."

I allowed Beau to pull me away from them, towards the corridor we had to go through. I looked back, to see Paisley holding my daughter. She made Ava wave her chubby little hand in the air, and blew a kiss at me with her free hand. I felt a sudden pang of regret. My heart was telling me to turn around and go back to my family but my feet kept on walking of their own accord. I waved at my mum, Ava and Paisley one last time before I allowed Beau to propel me through the corridor, not to see them again for a long, long time.