The Bedwarmer (BL)

15: Twisted

"Do you want anything else? Kung may kailangan ka, sabihin mo lang? I'll be outside." sabi ni Henry sa akin habang naglilinis ako ng aking katawan sa banyo ng kwarto niya.

Bruises are all over my body. Nakakaramdam din ako ng pananakit sa aking pwetan at pakiramdam ko lalagnatin din ako pero hindi ko na muna ininda 'yun. Ang kailangan kong gawin ay maging mahinahon at isipin kung anong gagawin ko ngayong sigurado ako na kikilos nanaman si Ryan.

Hindi iyon titigil habang hindi niya ako nakukuha. And he might try to lay his hands on my parents. Anything that he can, makuha niya lang ako ulit.

Binilisan ko ang aking pagligo at agad na nagpatuyo. I got out of the shower at itinapis ko ang tuwalya. Kitang kita ko sa life sizw mirror ng banyo ang katawan ko. I have a beautiful body that is cursed. A body that only lures lust. Katawan na ginamit na ng kung sino sinong lalaki.

Bigla akong naluha realizing how fucked I am at that moment. Kung bakit kailangang ako pa sa lahat ng tao?

Bumukas ang pinto ng CR at pumasok si Henry na naabutan ang aking pag-iyak. Agad niya naman akong yinakap at sinubukang patahanin.

"You have to be strong, Edrian.. That's the only way you can be free from all this. Let go of all the fears and disappointments you have. Iyon ang nagpapahina sa isang tao. You know, you thought me one thing. And that is to be who I really am and never try to be someone that I am not. Now, you have to do it for yourself. Be the Edrian that you are supposed to be."

Sa mga salita ni Henry lang ako nakahanap ng kaginhawaan. Everything that he says makes me feel better. Siguro nga, hindi lahat ng tao ay gagamitin lang ako at sasaktan. Hindi lahat ng lalaki kagaya ni Andrew at Ryan na aangkinin lang ako at hindi pahahalagahan ang damdamin ko. They only love themselves.

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"I didn't know you were this rich?" bigla kong nasabi sa gitna ng katahimikan namin ni Henry. Nasa mesa kami ng kitchen at kumakain ng hinanda niyang food para sa aming dalawa.

Napangiti siya at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Napatingin ako sa kanya ng maiigi because now I realize, I don't really know anything about him. If I know something, it might not be right or whatever.

"My mom left me a good some of furtune before she passed away due to pancreatic cancer. Hindi naman kami mayaman. But I invested the money she left me sa iba't-ibang company in Europe and North America. They have the biggest economy so I made sure of it. Bata pa lang ako, I had to make sure I will have a good future. So I studied hard and worked hard. Kahit ayaw ni Mommy na nagtratrabaho ako sa part time jobs, ginawa ko pa rin. I need to know the real world." kwento niya sa buhay niya that instantly fascinated me.

Tahimik lang akong nakikinig sa kanya and I see how sincere he is. I thought he was just this weird kid na nag-iistalk sa mga taong nagugustuhan niya.

"So when I turned 21, the money I invested got doubled in just a year. And now, I can say I have enough to take you anywhere you want." sabay ngiti niya sa kanyang huling sinabi.

I smiled at him and he is just a breath of fresh air. Kapag nakikita ko ang ngiti niya, nakakawala ng problema. Nawawala ang takot ko.

"I wish I had your determination to make my life better. But I guess--- Kapag nakulong ka sa isang madilim na nakaraan, its so hard to find a way to make things right. Mas lalo kang nagkakamali. Mas marami kang nagiging problema."

Mas diniinan niya ang pahawak sa aking kamay at hinawakan niya ang pisngi ko. I just don't know how I could have hurt this guy?

"Your past is a part of you. Alam kong hindi naging maganda ang nangyari sa nakaraan mo. But we all have to go through a certain hard point of our life, for us to know how strong we are. And I can see that you are a strong person. You just keep on denying that to yourself."