someone great : j. hossler

twelve ✰

f i n l e y

my phone was vibrating all morning long and it wouldn't stop. I picked it up and i have hundreds of instagram notifications to the point where my phone was glitching. i went to instagram and clicked on one of the first notifications. It was a picture of two people in a bed. i glanced down and read the caption, without realizing what the words even said at first.

   when it all hit me my eyes started to tear up and they started to overflow. I didn't know what to do, this couldn't be real.

incoming call from loml 🤩💛
decline.
incoming call from loml 🤩💛
decline.

loml 🤩💛
fin pls answer me, or if you're asleep call me when you wake up. we have to talk 🥺

i read it and didn't respond. i rolled over in my bed and started to cry. i sat up and put my head against the headboard the tears wouldn't stop. i couldn't believe he had done this to me. i looked on instagram to try and get my mind off it when i realized i was getting more notifications. i clicked on it and another picture popped up of jaden kissing this mads girl. there was no fucking way this was real life right now.

i got up and brushed my teeth and my hair. i looked at myself in the mirror and started to cry again. was i not good enough anymore? i grabbed my car keys and my phone and went for a drive. i went to the movie theatre parking lot and too many memories came flooding back to me.. there was one day me and jaden skipped class one day senior year and went to watch movies, we bought a ticket and went from theatre to theatre watching movies until somebody caught us.

    i can't do this. i have to know his reasoning. I dialed his number and let it ring through the bluetooth in my car until i heard it pick up.

"hey fin" i took a deep breath.
"listen jaden. i love you so much, please don't lie to me about any of this. i need you to tell me the god honest truth as to what happened last night. Don't leave any detail out." i heard him sniffle.. he's crying.

"i knew you were mad when she got in our facetime call. i knew you were upset. you didn't even tell me the important news that you wanted to talk about, and i'm sorry about that first off. second, i know you saw my misspelled word in those texts from last night. i'm not gonna lie i was drunk and i smoked. that's not a lie i will admit to that. third, we went downstairs to play some games. bryce suggested we play spin the bottle, and i said no. i got on twitter and that's when i texted you saying the misspelled text. then i remember hearing bryce said "i dare you to kiss jaden" and that's when i said no i wasn't doing it anymore. i stood up to walk away and bryce asked where i was going, i turned around and mads kissed me. That's when the kiss picture was taken. i immediately went upstairs, started to write some music, everything went blurry and went to bed. ask anybody. i promise you that. i couldn't even speak to bryce i was so mad. i still haven't talked to him today except this morning when he showed me the tiktokroom post. Then when i woke up this morning i was freezing i went to grab some more blanket from the other side of the bed and there was tension i rolled over and saw mads. she was on the other side of the bed and i don't remember touching her at all. apparently i did because the picture shows it. but i didn't do any of this by choice. i don't remember anything after i went upstairs i was drunk and sad and everything in between and when i woke up this morning i didn't remember anything. i'm so sorry finley i know i messed up." he said full on crying by now. i put my head in my hands. "fin.. say something" he said. i let out a breath.

"i think we need to see other people." i said, honestly not knowing where it came from but it sounded right.  "what, finley please don't end us.." "you have an insane life in LA and when i tell you the exciting news i have, it's gonna be hard for us to even have a relationship. i hate that all of this has happened but it's made it clear that this is what we need to do. we've been together so long we don't even know what it's like to be without each other. not being able to see you through the window next door was something i didn't think i'd miss as much i do. ever since i moved back home from school i feel like apart of me is missing, that part of me is you. i love you jaden and i always will but life is so different for each of us right now. i don't blame you, i believe that the stuff from last night was not intentional. i 100% believe you but we have to take a break. as much as my heart breaks to say that this isn't what the relationship we started off having. we need to be apart from each other, and know what it's like so that if it's meant to be we will appreciate each other in the future. i want you to not have me holding you back. i want you to be the best you you can be, because you're living your dream life. i'm moving to new york next month to start working with a modeling agency. we will be even farther from each other. that's the news i wanted to tell you yesterday." "fin that's awesome i know you've always wanted to model. you're gonna kill it. i understand what you're saying about the break but i don't know if it's right. fin i love you so much." he said crying, i was crying too. "jaden please trust me. if it sucks and we want each other back in a week then we will get together. i don't want to lose contact i want to always talk to you and be your person because you were my bestfriend before you were anything else. i love you jaden isaiah. so much. i want to give you the world, and i think this is going to help that." i said. "i'll give it a week, if we want each other back, i'll hold you to what you just said." "i love you jaden times a million. please stay safe and healthy. please keep in contact. don't forget about me." "i love you forever and always."

and with that the call ended.