To Make Her Mine

Josh

I just screwed up. Again.

While few hours back, if someone had said to me I could screw this up more than it already was, I would have laughed it off. But man was I wrong. I achieved whole new level of screwed up which I didn't even think was possible to attend.

I sat over the edge of the bed. My hands trembling, my throat getting dry. Sitting there, I started thinking about the time when all this started.

The day was still as bright in my mind as it happened yesterday.

The day I saw Eva in the beautiful purple dress on her aunt's wedding day. That was the day I realised my love for her. When was it? It might be seventh grade.

Deep down, I knew I had always loved her for however she was. She was perfect just the way she was but realisation stuck me hard that very day. She was beautiful inside out. That milky white smooth skin, her hair falling on her shoulders, those bright brown eyes. I was basically oggling her. That was the day I fell hard for her.

After that there was no going back. The harder I tried to avoid her, God is my witness, the harder I fell for her. I even pretended to be smitten with Shona- it was hard to stand that girl. Just so I could hide my true feelings for Eva. I loved her more than anything in the world.

I was sitting on the bed deep in my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door. I looked at time. I was sitting there for straight two hours thinking and doing nothing. Bridget opened the door and came inside the room all smiles,"Hey, Josh."

"Bridget, so good to see you."

"I missed you," she said hugging me.

Always warm and welcome. just like Eva. I admired her even more, she didn't let my escalades with Eva affect our relationship.

Bridget was a strong woman. She was a friend to Eli and me. A mother both of us never had. Eli's parents were killed in an accident, he was living with his uncle and mine were as good as dead. Bridget looked after us when she didn't have to , she loved us both like we were her children. Respect and love were mere words as compared to what I felt for Bridget.

" I'm so glad you came. Eli will be so happy. So will Eva."

"I wouldn't miss it for anything. I'm sure Eli would be happy but not so sure about Eva."

"Why, Did she say anything? You guys met already I assume."

"Yes we did. But it's not same with cherry." I need to stop calling her cherry now. "I mean Eva. She hates me."

" Josh, she doesn't hate you, she is just angry.", She said placing one palm over my cheek.  "She will come around. Give it time. Eve has just been through a lot."

And I was the reason.

"Bridget, there's a some big misunderstanding between Eva and me. I wanted to clear it when I met her, But none of that matters now. Does it?"

She sighed. "Josh, I know you still love her. There has always been complications between the two of you. Sometimes I thought I will hold your ears and yank you both to your senses."

I shaked my head but stood silent.

" Josh, I always thought you would end up with each other But I didn't want to meddle. It was your life, your decision to make. But when I thought I should help, it was too late for me to do anything. You two had gone through so much. But now what's done is done. It will be good if you can see each other as friends. For Eli's sake."

"Yes, I know. For Eli. I wish I didn't hurt her. That's all."

"Hurt is okay, Josh. She learned to take heartbreaks. She will be okay. She has Eli now. I'm worried about you though. You are my favorite among three." She winked and hugged me again.