To Make Her Mine

Eva

Home. Our home. I kept repeating those words in my mind.

The drive to home was mostly silent but there was contentment on our faces. Josh seemed to smile a lot without reason and I did the same. When we reached home and went to bedroom, I was in the different world altogether.

I felt jovial and content. I changed my cloths and went to wash my face. Looking in the mirror tonight, a different face was staring back at me. This face was bright, blushed with pinkish glow. The face of a person who discovered love was after all in the cards.

I came to bed to find Josh lying on the bed. He looked at me and smiled. I did the same and readily looked away so that he couldn't see me blushing. I felt stupid.

Frankly I couldn't imagine the old Josh to be serious about commitment. He was always spontaneous and volatile. He would want to get a dog one day and very next day, he would hate having any kind of pet. All these years I have known him, nothing really mattered to him, albeit his job. His passion for his work never wavered even a bit. He would never compromise his work for anything in the world.

I knew he loved me in his own way, cared for me too. He wouldn't think of hurting me, not if he could avoid it. After all we had been best friends since forever but I wasn't to him what he was to me once upon a time.

When I agreed to marry him, I thought it would be easy coz he didn't believe in the institution of marriage. Forget marriage, he didn't believe in relationship.

We would get married, we would get divorced. Piece of cake. No unnecessary drama, no broken hearts again. My mom would be glad that I atleast tried, she seemed to be a believer in Josh which I wasn't anymore. He had pragmatic approach to everything.

The Josh I knew was relationship phobic. The one lying beside me was asking me to try for commitment when I was the one to chicken out. Something had changed. Josh was changed.

My mom had said to me that Josh loved me since long and I hadn't believed her. Tonight when Shona told me, I thought maybe my mom was right. After all he loved me. But again didn't I already know that he did. Just that His idea of love was different than mine. I wanted commitment, I wanted all in.

I was hurt before. It was still hard to believe he wanted relationship. If he changed his mind about this relationship thing and hurt me again, I wouldn't be able to take it. Yet here I was agreeing to his silly dating plan. Stupid stupid me.

I was so overwhelmed with all these thoughts that I couldn't sleep. My mind was crowded and I couldn't think straight. I looked at Josh and he wasn't asleep either. When I looked at him, he turned towards me. We had a good distance between us , it was a big bed after all. And we were on the corners of the bed. He covered the distance in a blink and came close to me.

His lips were dangerously close to mine.
My heart fluttered in my chest. I could feel warmth of his breath. The subtle aroma of champagne on his breath. That familiar musky perfume which was his favorite and mine too. It was all intoxicating.

Although we had promised that we wouldn't do it again, it was hard to restrain myself when he was so handsome and so close. One of his hands was on side of my waist and another on the pillow.

"Eve," he whispered. I couldn't utter a word. We kept looking at each other. Deep into those gorgeous deep blue eyes, I saw the same desire that started growing inside me. I didn't want him to know that I craved for his touch. So I looked away.

He chuckled and nuzzled my neck. That was not fair. He perfectly knew what it did to me. I was breathless in just a moment. Desire started rising faster in me, It took all my courage and strength not to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss.