To Make Her Mine

Eva

Finally the vacation was over. I didn't want it to be over because going back to Chicago and routine, meant we wouldn't be at liberty to behave the way we wanted. Our relationship would change. We would be just roomies and keep our distance, that was what we decided after an awkward discussion.

We both had woken up early in the morning and packed our bags hurriedly. After the night we spent together, we had ended up in bed together next night no matter how hard we tried to stop ourselves. That night was my way of showing him how much I loved him, how much I appreciated him. But the words never touched my lips.

The more he had me, the more I wanted him. The way he made me feel was beyond imagination. Too bad that it wouldn't last more than few months. This was a deal which would end one day. After second night, I slept on the couch while Josh slept in the bed. He didn't argue and it was fine by me as well.

Josh had asked me were we stood after the night. I had decided to give us chance in my moment of weakness when I ended up in bed with him. But then realization struck me hard. We had married as it was need of the situation and not because we loved each other. I did love him but he surely didn't.

I owed Josh big time for marrying me. All he did was to help me out, a friend in desperate need. He wouldn't say it out loud to embarrass me, I knew for sure. He would not do what Eli did. There were few things were I trusted Josh more than anyone but it wasn't same with everything.

My mom had promised Eli, Josh would marry me on the same day. She must have talked Josh into doing this for my sake but I couldn't bring myself to make him stay married to me. It wasn't fair.

Josh and I hadn't kept much contact since the breakup so I had no idea about his relationships. We were broken up few years before , there wasn't a way for him to be single for such a long time. He must have been seeing someone, he had his charms around women.

It had dawned upon me after Eli's little speech that even if someone close to you did things for you as simple gesture, they always wanted something in exchange or they would just consider it as a favor. Every smile that someone brought to your lips, every thing they did for you had a price.

In my case I had paid enormous price. I didn't want to do it again with Josh. I dreaded the day when Josh would realise what he did just to save me and blame me for screwing up his life. I wouldn't keep him chained to me, rather I would help him in every way I could and free him of this marriage as soon as possible.

As we loaded the car with our luggage, Josh had turned little gloomy. It must be hard for him to give up his old life suddenly and shift to Chicago for my sake. But I didn't have courage to ask him to stay where he was. I wanted to be with him no matter even if as a pretend wife. I didn't want to be alone.

I was selfish after all.

We got into the car, Josh was driving. It was around 4-5 hours drive. I kept glancing at him while he drove not looking at me even once.

"Hey so When will your things arrive?"

"4-5 days."

"And you have enough to survive till then?"

"We will need to do some shopping."

"Yeah we can do it tomorrow. I can work from home for few days. We will need to set up our house."

Our house. A shiver went down my spine. We were again going to live together.

He looked at me. His handsome face looked better when he smiled.

"So your Steinbeck mood is better?"

"I guess." I said smiling back at him.

It was easy for us now to talk to each other. Like the old us were back. We stopped at one diner for lunch. I went to get freshen up while Josh ordered for us. When I came back, he had ordered everything I liked. He still remembered these small things.