Breaking The Ice

7

"Have you ever tried checking out if you can fly? or ever thought about getting close to the sun?" he said while we both stare at the setting sun. I gave him a chuckle as a response.

"Bevvy, what? Wala namang imposible diba?" he laughed then poked my cheek. 

"What? I thought that was a rhetorical question, weirdo" I rolled my eyes at him when he suddenly pulled me down to lay on the grass.

"Then how about you answer this" he looked at me with those curious brown eyes.

"What is it now?" 

"Have you ever fallen in love with the same person? Every time you see that person you just, you just" he didn't finished his sentence for he closed his lips on my lips.

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"Happy Birthday Hanz" I muttered under my breath as I stared at the setting sun here on our favorite spot. 

This already became my own way of celebrating his birthday ever since he left me for Spain. The last letter and email I received from him was from two years ago. After that, nothing ever came, not even on special occasions. That's when I stopped caring about special occasions. Except his birthday. 

"Shit, you're crazy Beverly. Nakalimutan ka niya. Bakit hindi mo siya makalimutan?" tinawanan ko ang sarili ko.

"You were my sunshine right? You calmed down the demons inside my head when I can't. You made me sane when everything is eating me up. Nasaan kana? Kailan kaba babalik? Dalawang taon na nakakalipas Hanz, baka naman pwede kana umuwi? I can't contact anyone from your family kasi never mo naman ako pinakilala sa kanila since they are all in Spain. Paano na tayo Hanz? Why do I keep on holding on to you?" I bit my lip to stop talking. 

Shit, tama na Bev, you have been saying the same things ever since he stopped talking to you. Para ka lang nagmamakaawa na bumalik ang taong patay na.

"Beverly, tapos kana  ba dyan? Gabi na, iintayin mo pa ba ang buwan para matapos yang ritwal mo?" I just ignored Andrei. Sabi ko sa kanya sa sasakyan lang siya eh, hayst.

"Mukhang iintayin mo nga tumaas ang buwan" naramdaman kong umupo sya sa tabi ko. 

Bigla akong nalungkot lalo. I'm here on our favorite spot but, I'm with a different guy.

"Hindi kaba talaga magsasalita Beverly? Baka hinahanap na tayo ng dad mo or mga ate mo. Nagtext sakin si ate Summer" 

"Trust me Andrei, they don't give a damn, Si ate Summer lang yan" 

"Okay" he simply said. Buti naman at tumigil na siya pero di ko inasahan ang sunod nyang sinabi.

"Ang ganda dito Beverly, baka maging favorite spot ko na to" 

"No" I automatically said as I looked at him straight in the eyes.

"Ha? Bawal ba? Ang ganda kasi Beverly, parang may mga magagandang bagay na dito nagsimula" he smiled and his looking straight in my eyes as well. 

I did not gave him a reply and I just sighed. This can't be, this place is special, kami lang ni Hanz ang pwedeng may favorite nito. It may sound childish but t I really own this place by heart. This spot witnessed every single special moment Hanz and I shared. Umiling ako.

"Beverly, tambay tayo dito after ng klase mo araw -araw ha?" and because of that question I couldn't help but stood up and leave. 

Ayoko ng ganito, ayoko maramdaman na hindi na si Hanz ang makakasama ko sa spot na yon. Ang makakasama kong abangan ang pagtaas ng buwan. Ayoko, ayokong unti-unting napapaltan ni Andrei ang posisyon ni Hanz sa buhay ko. Hindi ko pa siya kayang pakawalan. I may have turned in to the ice princess they are saying but Hanz will always be my one and only Achille's Heel. No one can replace him, not even Andrei.