Zodiac signs living together

53

Libra: If you kill a killer the number of killers in the world stays the same.

Scorpio: Kill two.

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Aries: So I can either bake these cookies for 10 minutes at 400 degrees, or bake them for 1 minute at 4,000 degrees.

Virgo: Aries no! That's not how baking works!

Aries: FLOOR IT!

Virgo: ARIES NO

Aries: 4,000,000 FOR 1 SECOND

*****

Libra: I love this whole “good cop/bad cop” thing you two have going.

Pisces: It’s not really a thing. It’s more like I’m nice and Scorpio is not.

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Leo: You know, don’t take this the wrong way, but I feel like you’ve become a lot more fun since I’ve known you.

Capricorn: Thanks. And if I may return the compliment, I think you’ve become marginally less irritating.

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Sagittarius: See? One day you’re gonna look back on this and laugh.

Scorpio: I assure you, for the rest of my life, every time I look back on this I will personally go over to your house and smack you.

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Sagittarius: If you put “violently” in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.

Virgo: Violently studies.

Cancer: Violently bakes.

Aries: Violently trains.

Scorpio: Violently murders people.

Libra: Violently worries about that previous statement.

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Cancer: What’s more painful than heartbreak?!

Gemini: Earbuds with only one side working.

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Libra: I can’t believe you and Scorpio broke the bed last night.

Cancer: It must have been wild.

Aries: Haha... Yeah...

[Last Night]

Scorpio: Bet you can’t jump high enough to touch the ceiling.

Aries: Try me.

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Taurus: I want to be like a caterpillar.

Capricorn: Explain?

Taurus: Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.

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Virgo: Pisces texted me "your adorable"

Virgo: And I replied, "No, YOU'RE adorable"

Virgo: Now they like me. We've been on three dates. All I did was point out a typo.