Diary of a Mad Poet

Fade

Dedicated to _morenoodlesplease_ 💖 honest appreciation

Enjoy❤
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Something hurts. Its hurts everywhere.

My eyes flutter open, there isn't much light so its easy to open my eyes and not have to rub them or- wait. I can't move. Panick starts to take over as I try looking down at my body, I can hardly see anything but I see red on the bed and a lot of it.

My thighs, my legs, my core hurts. He raped me! Tears form in my eyes as I remember what happened. I know I was eager to kiss him and hold onto him but I was nowhere near ready for sex. I didn't want that. He didn't ask or give me a chance to refuse.

I should have known better than to think a stranger would at least ask for my permission. If I was sure, or ready, or wanted it. I can't even run to the police and say he raped me when I'm the one who pulled him into a kiss even after a warning I clearly didn't heed.

My tears are flowing effortlessly. I'm here naked and tied to a bed at least I think I'm tied up. My body hurts and there is blood everywhere. I don't think when you lose your virginity you bleed so much the whole bed is soaked with blood.

My family won't even be bothered that I'm gone, my only hope is Lee. I'm not sure if I fully trust her either. She seems to know my kidnapper and- "I see you're awake" his voice scares the hell out of me. My heart beating so fast not only of his sudden appearance but I'm afraid. For the first time in a while I'm afraid.

"Why are you doing this?" I whisper out trying not to provoke him. I don't dare look in his direction, even though the tears are blurring my sight.

"Your voice is pretty low, must be from sleeping too long or fear" he says as he stands beside me towering over me. I'm staring at the ceiling but from the corner of my eye I can see he is shirtless. "Tomorrow is your birthday" and in that moment I stop breathing. That means I've out for days.

I've been here for days and tomorrow is my birthday. Breathe. Breathe. I start inhaling again, taking slow breaths.

"I will kill you when the clock strikes 12 midnight" he says coldly and a clock appears on the ceiling facing down at me. Its 6pm, I have six hours. I didn't think the milk man would be my end. "But first I need to enjoy you a couple more times" he says getting on the bed.

This means he raped me while I was knocked out. My tears start flowing even more as a stop multiple sobs from leaving me. I feel my legs separate and knees lift and with no warning he thrusts into me. A small pained scream leaves my lips and he continues. I look anywhere but at him hovering above me with a smirk.

I sit next to the lake of fire
Opposite the blue pond and ponder ponderously on deep thoughts
Drunken enough to swallow up shallow oceans
I feel myself feeling the emotions of anguish and pain
I wish my own heart was strong enough
To discern emotional wreakage to what is real
And what is not

"Your poems are beautiful" he says getting off me, I still can't move. I look up into his eyes to find pain and hurt. "I can read your mind you know" I don't respond. There is no reason for me to. "Just remember, tortured souls don't rest in peace or go to heaven so easily"

What's that supposed to mean? Why should I remember that? I remove my eyes from his naked bloody form and face the clock above my head. 8:23pm. So this is what God planned for me. I should be angry but what good would that do me?.

"You are not all that you know, you know?" He sits next to me fully clothed in a black fitted suit. "You know you come from a family of witches,on your mothers side, and they are a really big family of peaceful witches honestly" he lifts his hand wiping away my tears.

Nice family of witches my ass. Oh they are very much witches, those bloody evil witches. I don't want to believe in the supernatural but with the things I've been going through I can't deny it plus I see ghosts and other things. So its not hard for me to believe its real, I just don't get why me? If my family was so nice, why do they hate me so much?. What did I do?

"Your father sacrificed you to me" he says so bluntly that I shiver. Well there's my answer as to why the devil sits in front of me, doing as he pleases. All I want to do is sleep and when I wake up, things would be back to normal. "I'll tell you the rest of the story when you are ready, if I tell you now well, you might break the bonds holding you down and slaughter your whole family and I can't have that, at least not yet"

My father loved me, he actually did show love towards me and my mother too. She wasn't always so mean and telling me she loves me when she went away on business, only to come back and tell me she hates me. She used to hug me and tuck me in at night, she used to be so sweet. She did have her motherly moments of shouting at me if I misbehaved but that was normal.

She used to care if I had a good day or if I had a crush on a boy, my parents used to talk to me and take me out to dinner or lunch. My dad used to take me as his date to his conference meetings when mom couldn't be there. Those were the days, I used to be happy. My parents did love me once upon a time.

I don't know what changed. I woke up one day and my parents were getting a divorce. And now here I am, finding out my mom is a witch and my dad sold me to the devil.

Silence. He is still next to me, staring at me as I stare at the clock.

11:55.

My death is coming. In 5 minutes I'll be gone. I would pray but I was sold to the devil, so clearly I can't be helped.

"You'll understand why soon" is all he says before kissing my forehead and standing up.

"Could I kill myself instead?" I'd rather die by my own hands. I just hate the thought of not knowing how he is going to murder me.

"Sure" he looks at me in deep thought, I feel the restraints holding me down disappear. "How do you want to commit your sin?"

"Razors" is all I say as I sit up pulling my knees to my naked chest. He nods then hands me two razors. We both look up at the clock and he sighs.

12:00am/00:00am

I inhale deeply then start cutting deeply into my wrists. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would, so I cut deeper and deeper till I reach the bone. By now my blood is colouring my thighs red.

I start to feel light headed. My death day happens to be on my day of birth. I can feel myself fading out. And as I fade I feel his hands pull me into his hard chest. "I will see you in the afterlife my love" he kisses my temple, "tortured souls don't rest, we will be together, I promise mate"

And finally the darkness takes over. And finally I fade away.

This is just wow
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Oh and things are going to get steamy😈😉 in all types of ways😘😘