Diary of a Mad Poet

Don't care

Lucifer's POV

It hurts. I might be Satan himself and torturing souls who come from sinners might be my favorite thing but I was and still am, an angel. Whether fallen or not, I am still an angel and I feel pain.

I know she is going to hate me when she wakes up but this was never my plan. If my father didn't add a twist to me having a mate, we would have been together without all this torture.

Every creation of God's has a mate, soulmate but for us the fallen, he added a twist due to us living in the realm of the dead. Which was his fault might I add. We would have to torture our mates and make them fill up with hate and pain. Then kill them, suicide is the biggest sin and you go to hell for it, giving her the chance to come live with me and not end up in heaven, but also giving her the ability to roam the earth, her soul will not be at rest. Because tortured souls don't rest in peace. I'm doing this for love. For Her.

I know she has many questions for her family and me too. I know I lied about her father sacrificing her to me but I had to, I had to hurt her emotionally too.

The tears that fell from her eyes broke me, but I couldn't show it, I couldn't shed a tear for causing pain to the one I love. Raping her was never the plan, I was going to go slow but remembering that if I did so, she would love me before the right time, she would love me because if I did it right I would never be able to hurt her again.

I would have rather tortured her until she died than to take away the only real thing she owned like that. I just couldn't help it, I warned her and I know I should have had better restraint over myself.

I can't deny loving that I was her first even though I hurt her, I still would have murdered anyone who would have touched her. I fucking love her body, her extra thick thighs, her brown skin, her perfect curves and that ass. I can't wait to make her fall in love with me, which will be hell. She still is the daughter of a fallen angel and a witch.

In simple words, she is powerful and doesn't know it yet. But I don't mind the fire in this woman. If anything, it makes me love her more. I've loved her since birth and I couldn't wait for her to turn 18 so I could have her. Even though I could have taken her at any age I pleased, I just felt that 18 was best.

I'm still holding her limp body to my chest, I can feel the warmth of her body fade away. In death she looks so peaceful. I know her life has been horrid and it hurts that I was the cause of it all. And I know all too well how much she would prefer pure death over me, but I'll change that, I promise. I lay a gentle kiss on her forehead and lay her fully down.

I should probably get her cleaned up and change the bed before she wakes up. I'm not sure how she's going to wake up, its always different for every fallens mate and being that I am Lucifer, my experience should be worse. I seen my brothers and sisters lose their minds over the hatred their mates would have for them. Thanks to everyone thinking we hate humans, all of us were given mates who are born on earth and bare human qualities. Humans are unstable creatures.

I'll hopefully be able to handle Grace's anger, hopefully. Without lifting a finger I have her clean, in a black and white long flowy dress and she lays on a new bed.

This room is just a room in a dimension in between the realm of the dead and the living. I needed to have her where nobody could easily get her. All of this had to be done with precision. I hope I can handle her when she wakes up.

She looks so beautiful sleeping but I can't wait for her to wake up, its been 6 ours now.

"Wake up my love"

Grace's POV

My heart feels so heavy, I feel cold. I'm alone in complete darkness. My heart aches for something, I feel so empty but at least it doesn't hurt anymore. Although there is nothing where I am, I don't even know where I am.

I feel like I have the option to leave, like it will happen when I'm ready. I don't know if I want to leave, where would I end up? Heaven?, I doubt it. God has no regards for me. So I guess hell it is, but 'he' is there, I don't want to see him. Well that's if he really is Satan.

I don't want to go to hell either though. Maybe I should stay here, alone, with no one, no one to hurt me. Where ever I go I get hurt, I don't want that, but I am not one to run away. All I want is peace.

I'm at peace here but I can't stay, I can't run. I just... I don't know anymore.

"Wake up my love" a deep voice says so clearly but so far away. I know that voice.

I start feeling gravity pull me down at such a fast rate, I can't breathe and right as I hit the ground it feels as though I landed on something soft. I feel like I just had one of those dreams where you are falling and right when you are about to hit the ground you wake up.

I open my eyes and come face to face with him. He looks happy yet hesitant. My heart just can't bare the sight of him.

"I know you're angry right now but it was all for a good reason and-" I turn my head and body away from him as he talks and he stops.

I can't look at him right now, I don't know why I had to come back here. I would have rather woken up at home but here I am with the devil. In a room with no doors or windows.

"Grace" I hear him sigh, he doesn't say anything more. I want to cry but the strong woman in me won't let me. I just want to lay here and not talk or do anything more.

I feel lost. Can't even pray about it. I won't give up but right now I need time to be left alone as I fall apart. Then I'll build myself up again, as usual. I need to rest.

"Grace don't shut me out please" he pleads but I don't move or say anything. "I can handle anger or fear or even hatred but not this, please" he whispers the last part.

I don't respond. I feel the room change and here I am back in my bedroom at home.

The door is thrown open and someone walks in. "What's wrong?" That's my fathers voice, I turn around and face him to find him and Lucifer staring at me.

"I don't know yet, she is not full of rage or reacting in any usual way that a newly reborn mate should" Lucifer says.

Then in walks my mother and she holds my dads hand in hers, giving me a worried look. My father squeezes her hand, also giving me a worried look. Then noticing my gaze on their hands they give me a 'we can explain look'.

It hits me, its obvious. It's either they are back together or they were never apart. My family always seems to hide things from me.

I turn and lay back down, facing away from them.

I wonder if she'll ever understand and reunite with her family and love Lucifer... Hmmm