Still - h.s (au)

Chapter 20

Grace

Waking up beside Harry feels like a dream.

His eyelids are still closed, and I know he is in a deep sleep by the way his eyes move under them, meaning he is dreaming. The sun is starting to rise but I have been awake for at least an hour now. Not that I know exactly what time it is because I don't have access to a clock. Tonight, I didn't have much sleep, probably due to the fact that this backseat was too small for both of us. But most probably because I couldn't take my mind out of what had happened yesterday in this same place.

I never thought that our night would end up like that, nor did I plan it. But after the lovely date night we had, I simply needed to have him in the most intimate way possible. It was almost irrational, and I never thought that was even possible, to want someone so much and so badly, but I did want Harry. I need him. And it was the most perfect experience I could have asked for. Harry was the perfect gentleman and I ended up feeling things I never even imagined that would exist. My whole body was tired but happy from his touch.

Harry was worried that I might regret my decision to give myself to him, but how could I when he was so perfect? I loved him with all my heart, and in a few weeks we will both go to the front line of the war, God knows when we will see each other again. But at least now we will have this memory to warm our hearts and bodies.

Yesterday after we made love, Harry helped me clean myself I have to confess I was rather shy while doing it. I felt so vulnerable but safe at the same time. I had only put my underwear back on my body, and he also was only dressed in his white briefs. Our bodies were providing all the warmth we needed to go through the cold night, but we were also half-covered with Harry's large coat.

Harry had his head resting on top of my chest, and even though I didn't feel half of my body because he was resting on top of me, I couldn't care less about it. "Darling..." I whisper waiting for him to wake up. My stomach had started to make some strange noises which meant that I was getting very hungry. Besides we should leave because the owner of this land could come at any minute now.

"Hm..." He grunts when I call him and holds my body closer to his, as if he didn't want to wake up from the dream he was having.

"Harry... Wake up..." I begin to distribute small kisses on the top of his head, making him shift his position a little and I can feel the blood finally reaching the dumb parts of my body. After a few seconds of trying to adjust to the brightness, he opens his eyes, finally looking at me and an instant smile was formed on his lips.

"Are you real?" He whispers lifting his head and resting his body weight on his arm turning sideways. His eyes scan my whole body, taking his time to go through every inch of my naked skin.

"I'm very much real, yes."

I know that he wasn't also expecting that to happen yesterday. Harry wanted to be a perfect gentleman with me, and I know he was reticent to comply with my wishes. In his head, he wanted to give the perfect first time, which probably wouldn't even happen anytime in the future. But I could not go to the war without having done this with him, because no matter what, I am his and he is mine.

Harry leans in my direction and gives me a soft peck on my lips. "How are you feeling?" He asks quietly, holding my hand between his fingers.

"Very good... The best I have ever felt, to be honest." My cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but how could I not smile? I was so happy next to him, that it felt almost surreal that this was actually happening. "And you?" I kiss the tip of his nose.

"I'm the happiest man on this planet, darling, all because of you." He smiles. "But aren't you feeling any pain? You know... Down there?" He asks awkwardly. I must admit that it feels strange talking about these things with him, but I will not be one of those prude women who are afraid to discuss this with their partners.