Still - h.s (au)

Chapter 25

listen with this song :) 

Grace

Today was a bittersweet day.

How could I have been waiting for this day for the longest time, hoping that it would arrive soon, and now that it is actually here, I feel completely heartbroken? The human mind is able to play so many tricks on you. I was both excited about the adventure I was going to take part in, but I was miserable for leaving those I love behind. Especially my Harry.

But here I was, holding my suitcase in which I tried to fit all my belongings and everything I will need during the following months or even years. It is such a strange feeling going away without having any set date to return, or even know if you will return at all. 

I think I finally realised today what I am heading to, and I couldn't be more scared.

But at least I had the opportunity to say goodbye to my family. It truly helped me having my mother hug and comfort me the other day. At least I know she doesn't resent me. I could not leave knowing she would be upset with me.

"Do you promise you will write to me as much as you can? I want all the details." Martha asks with teary eyes while I stand by our bedroom door feeling empty inside. It is strange seeing this room without my things, without my books by the bedside table, or my frames with pictures of my family on top of the desk. It is completely empty. And in a few days, Martha will also be packing her things, leaving this room free for its next tenants.

"I promise. As soon as I get there I will write to you." I say putting down my suitcase and opening my arms to hug her. Martha quickly closes the space between us pulling me to a tight hug, we both sob quietly not wanting this moment to end. "When this ends we will go find the perfect wedding dress for you." I whisper.

"And I will finally introduce you to Mathew, you will love him." She smiles at the same time she is crying. "We will go out and we will get absolutely wasted as soon as this ends." Martha surely loved to party, and her high spirits were contagious.

"Yes please." I bite my lip crying to hold back my tears. I want our goodbye to be a happy one, not a miserable one. "I cannot wait for that."

"Stay safe, Grace." Martha finally breaks the hug, stepping back. She wipes the salty tears with the back of her hand and tried to smile as much as she can, disguising the sadness in her eyes.

"Stay safe, Martha." I sigh blowing a kiss in her direction before I pick up my suitcase once again, this time not looking back while I leave my bedroom, and this building which has been my home for the past few months.

On my last day of work, my colleagues and Miss Flinch baked a cake to celebrate my departure and it was one of the happiest days I had in the hospital. I would be forever thankful for the opportunity to work there because that place gave me my Harry. It also gave me the opportunity to develop my skills as a nurse, and I feel like I have grown so much as a person. The Grace from before, was completely unaware of the suffering of others, I would even consider her selfish. But this job taught me how to be more selfless and empathetic, and I wouldn't be more thankful for that.

Once I got outside the building, I spotted the familiar car and my man leaning against it. But this time he didn't have the bright smile he always wears to welcome me, this time he had the saddest look on his face and my heart sunk as soon as I saw him. 

How could I be strong enough to leave him? How was I going to be away from him for months, or years? There is so much we have to live, it is so unfair.

As much as we tried to spend most of our time together, it was still not enough, and I was already missing him, even though I haven't left yet. "My darling..." Harry half smiles and he holds my heavy luggage immediately.