Still - h.s (au)

Chapter 29

Grace

For the past two and a half years I have been having this recurrent dream. 

In the very few nights I actually managed to sleep without interruption, I dreamed of it almost every time. It is the most beautiful dream, and I think I had it again today.

Harry was always in my dreams, ever since the day I found out he was dead, and today it was no exception.

He was right there in front of me, and it seemed so real as if he was truly there. I could almost touch him, that is how close he was from me. Usually, on my dreams, I only see him at a distance, and I was never able to reach him, but this time it was different. He was only a few meters away from me, so close.

But why am I waking up now?

I want to go back to sleep and dream of him again, I need to see him again.

Maybe I don't want to wake up ever again, if that means I get to see Harry in my dreams. I would much rather never wake up again but be in a world where Harry is, than waking up and face the reality of not having him alive.

But I was waking up, I could feel it.

Goodbye Harry.

"Grace..." I hear someone call my name and I finally open my eyes, wishing I could simply pretend that I was still sleeping.

When I have a look around, I furrow my eyebrows realising that I am not inside the tent which has been my room for more than a month now. Instead, I am on one of the many hospital beds, I can see dozens of soldiers in beds next to mine, the only thing separating us is this thin white curtain.

Charlie is by the bed and I quickly realise that it is still night, because of how dark the interior of the tent is. Everyone must be sleeping still, how long have I been asleep? And most importantly, why on Earth am I here?

"What happened?" I bring my hand to my head when a strong pain hits me. Also, I have gauze around my forehead which leaves me even more confused than what I already am. What could have possibly happened that I don't remember?

"Oh, you tripped on something yesterday night, you don't remember?" He asked calmly and I quickly shake my head. "I told you to get some rest, but you didn't want to listen to me." He sighed but the pain on my head forces me to close my eyes for a couple more seconds. "As always." He adds in the end with a nervous laugh.

When the pain finally eases a little, I open my eyes scanning the entire room around me, trying to find something, some evidence that it wasn't a dream.

Was I getting crazy? Because I am sure I saw Harry right there, by the waiting area. Every soldier who arrived without serious wounds would wait there for a nurse.

It has been almost three years, why am I still dreaming about a dead person? "Was it only that? I could swear I... Never mind." I stop what I was saying not wanting to sound insane.

Charlie is not the right person for me to confess my dream, he would never understand what I am feeling, especially after he told me yesterday that he was in love with me. But I should have seen it coming, I was too naïve to think that he didn't have second intentions with me. Now I needed to make sure he knew that I didn't see him that way. 

I don't think I will be able to fall in love ever again, especially if I continue dreaming with Harry.

"Try to get some more rest." He presses a kiss on my forehead, and I suddenly remember him doing the exact same minute before I passed out.