Darkness

Pity

On the next day Avi didn't get out of bed before noon. Now that his worries about getting around at home had settled a bit he realized how quiet it was without Caleb. He hadn't heard anything since the man left the hospital room a couple of days after the accident and the bearded man slowly realized that he was truly alone. None of his friends had called, not even Brad, even though the majority of them knew about the accident. But he wasn't mad at them. He understood that they didn't call, in their eyes he was a burden. In his eyes too. He got up to go to the bathroom, then he microwaved one of the meals from the freezer and went back to bed.

He felt for his phone when it started to ring and answered. "Hello?"

"Avi!" It was Shelly, checking in on her son. "How are you?"

"Doing okay, Mama" he replied and turned on his side. "Just had dinner."

"Are you getting around well? Have you been outside yet?"

He heard how worried she was and sighed softly. "Getting around well, yes. Haven't been outside yet, I might sit on the balcony tomorrow. I don't know. I'm not in the mood to do anything. I miss Caleb."

"Oh Avi..."

"I know. It's okay. I just- I have to get used to my new life without him and I'll manage. Please don't worry, okay? I know how to use my phone, I'll call Brad or- or someone else in case I need help."

The darkness around him started to have a noticeable effect on him on the following day. To fight the weird feeling in his stomach Avi usually went for a walk or to the park, met with friends or even to the shelter to volunteer but now he just sat in bed and allowed his thoughts to take over.

He sat there until he heard a key in the lock of the front door turning. Since he started to rely on his hearing now everything seemed to make more unique sounds which he was then able to match to actions.

Steps followed, the door creaked before it closed and-

"Hello? Avi?" Scott turned on the lights and swallowed when he saw the white cane leaning against the wall. The past few days had not been a bad dream, it was actually happening and the baritone felt bad for not stopping by sooner. The baritone entered the bedroom and found him sitting in bed.

Avi had his head turned to him, seemed to be looking at him. "Scott? Why are you- how did you get into my apartment?"

"Uhm, with the key. Your parents gave it to me before they headed back to Visalia, Shelly asked me to check on you every now and then. How are you doing today?" He reached out and touched Avi's shoulder.

"Doing okay I think. Did Mama tell you about..Caleb?"

"She did, yeah. I'm sorry, Avi. And I get that you miss him but you can't stay in this dark apartment forever, it's not healthy."

Avriel huffed and got defensive. "And what do you think I should do? Go for a walk? Or camping? Funny, Scott. Really."

The baritone didn't know what to say and slowly let go of Avi's shoulder. He thought about just leaving for a second, hurt by his friend's reaction to him checking on him, until he slowly shook his head to get rid of his thoughts. "Pull up the blinds and maybe sit on the balcony for half an hour. I understand that you feel helpless and lost, Avi. And I'm sorry-"

But Avi just shook his head. "I don't want to hear it. I don't need you to come here and pity me, I can do that myself. Get the fuck out."

"I'm not-"

"Get the fuck out!" he boomed and a threatening growl left his body.

Scott just stood there and stared at his friend before he slowly nodded. "Alright" he mumbled and walked back to the hallway. "Bye." He reached for the doorknob before he turned around one last time. "Call me if you need anything. I'm not letting you push me away." Then he left.

Avi was breathing heavily. He wanted Scott gone, out of his home and his life like everyone else and he was sure that if he had not pushed him away Scott would've ended up leaving him just like everyone else at some point, hurting him even more.

The longer he sat there on his bed the more he realized and regretted what had just happened and tears started to run down his cheeks. Scott had always been a good friend, someone he had always been able to rely on for help and advice in whatever situation he found himself in and now, when Avi was desperate for a shoulder to lean on, he was gone.

"Shelly, hi.."

"Oh Goodness, what happened?"

"How on earth-"

"I am a mother, Scott. I have raised three kids, I know when something isn't right. What did he do?"

Scott groaned and hunched over until his forehead met his steering wheel. "He kicked me out. He yelled, then growled at me and then kicked me out."

Shelly sighed. "Are you at home already?"

"No, still in the car in front of his apartment. But I'm not going back in there today, he might throw something. He was so angry even though I just wanted to help."

"I'm so sorry, Scott. His behavior-"

"Is unacceptable but to be honest, I would probably react just like him" he said and finished her sentence.  "I'll give him a couple of days and try again. He has to get out of this stupid apartment at some point."

"He has, yes. Maybe you can take him to the grocery store? Or just for a little walk to the nearby park, too much noise would probably be disorienting and overwhelming and he would be uncomfortable. Has he been taking care of his body?"

"You mean showering? I think so. His hair didn't seem to be greasy and he didn't smell or anything. I- I got this, Shelly. I'll head home now and call you soon, okay?"

"Yes, of course. Thank you so much, Scott."

"Sure, no problem. Talk to you soon, bye!"