Darkness

Tent

After a nap and them dipping their toes into the lake for a bit Scott decided to heat up the food he had packed for the trip. He made a little fire near the tent, away from anything flammable, and set down the camping pot, emptied out the two cans of chili.

"Hey Avi? How long does that usually take?"

Avi, who had his sweatpants rolled up to his knees and stood in the water that touched his ankles, turned to Scott. "Huh?"

"How long? Chili?"

"Oh, uh, I don't know, depends on the fire. Is it time for dinner already?"

"Yeah, the sun is slowly setting."

Avi nodded slowly. He bent down to feel for the towel on the floor, stepped on it and then dried his feet before slipping back into his socks and shoes. "Scott?" He waited for an answer and started walking as soon as he heard his voice.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I'm just straight ahead. You know, maybe we can make s'mores later? I packed marshmallows, graham crackers and some chocolate." He reached out to touch Avi's hand. "Nice, look at you being all independent!"

Avriel chuckled and sat down next to him on their picnic blanket. He patted it to locate the bowls and took them, as well as the spoons. "When's dinner ready?"

"Just a minute ago you had the audacity to ask if it was time for dinner already and now you can't be stopped. Thank God you can't see where I put the bread." Right after he had finished the sentence he heard plastic rustling behind him and then Avi held a piece of the baguette in his right hand.

"Yeah, thank God" he said and snickered. While Avi nibbled on the bread he patiently waited for the chili to heat up. Once warm Scott filled their bowls and they ate in silence, listened to the birds and enjoyed how quiet it was around them. "Feels better than in LA" Avriel mumbled and scooped what was left in his bowl into his mouth, reached for more bread and cleaned up the dish with it.

"Maybe we can come here more often. Or just go hiking in general. I just- I wasn't comfortable taking you somewhere where I wasn't familiar with the path and the surroundings, we both have to adjust."

"I understand, Scott. No worries. I just wanted to...to say that it feels better being here than in LA. It's not as loud and I can focus better."

Scott wrapped his arm around Avi and smiled lightly. "I know. We can come here more often. Or drive to Visalia and meet your parents, and then drive to the Sequoias. Hug a tree, hm?"

"I wouldn't say no to that..."

The baritone hesitated a moment before he got up. "C'mere" he said gently and pulled his boyfriend up on his legs. "Let's go and hug a tree. I think I have seen a Sequoia somewhere."

Together they walked over to a group of trees nearby and as soon as Avi felt the bark under his fingertips he let go of Scott's biceps and wrapped his arms around the trunk. The man took a shaky breath and closed his eyes.

"Okay?"

"Y-Yeah.." he sniffled softly and just a few moments later tears ran down his cheeks.

"Avi? Hey, what's-"

"'m fine...'s okay, I just- just need a second.."

Scott frowned but nodded and gently rubbed his shoulder. "Do you want a few minutes to yourself?"

"Yes please" the bass said and his fingertips moved over the bark of the tree.

Once Scott went back to the tent Avi gripped the tree harder. Tears ran down his face as he felt the harsh bark of the tree under his fingertips, listened to the sound it made when he slightly rubbed it. The man let go and sat down against the trunk of the large tree and buried his fingers in the damp soil, rubbing it between his fingertips, feeling the pine needles between them. It was too much for him to handle, too many memories of past hiking trips with his family flooded his memories where he had been able to see and was independent. Avi missed his old life.

Scott watched him from in front of the tent. He had his arms around his knees while he was focused on his boyfriend and watched him run his hands over and through the dirt which stained his skin. At some point the baritone had enough. He got back up and walked over to Avi, gently pushed his hands under his armpits and pulled him up. Then Scott hugged him tightly.

"It's okay, Avi" he whispered and held him. "I don't know what it feels like but I understand that you are going through a lot right now. I am sorry, I didn't know taking you here would trigger something that made you cry."

Avi stayed quiet while Scott brought over to the lake with him and washed his shaking hands. He desperately wanted to wake up from whatever nightmare he was going through right now, he wanted to open his eyes and see the sun, and the leaves on the trees, the flowers his mama had planted in the backyard, but all he got was darkness surrounding him. 

They walked back to the tent where the baritone helped Avi out of his clothes and handed him a toothbrush with toothpaste on it so he could brush his teeth while Scott himself changed into sweatpants and a hoodie. Ten minutes later they were cuddled up in sleeping bags, Avi's was halfway unzipped and Scott was spooning him with one arm around his waist.

"I'm sorry" Scott mumbled again and scooted closer against Avi.

"Don't be. Thank you for taking me hiking. I like listening to nature, even though I can't see it."

They stayed silent and soon Avi fell asleep, with one hand resting on Scott's.