Darkness

Aftermath

Avi slept until Scott entered the room at two am. The baritone wasn't drunk, not even the slightest bit tipsy, and sat down on the edge of the mattress to wake Avi.

"Avi..time to wake up, brush teeth.." he said softly once the bass started to move.

He opened his eyes and sighed, then stretched. "What time 's it? Breakfast?"

A chuckle escaped Scott. "No, not yet. But you gotta brush teeth and get changed. I'll fetch something to wear to bed, okay? No need to sleep in those skinny jeans. They look uncomfortable as fuck."

"Mhm..." Avi hummed and sat up. "They are uncomfortable as fuck." He patted the mattress until he found the edge, then slowly moved his legs out from under the blanket and then frowned. "Where's the bathroom? Left side?"

"No, there's the closet. I'll guide you, c'mon." Scott helped his boyfriend find his balance before his hand went up to his biceps and held onto it. He was so used to feeling Avi's hand there that sometimes, when the bearded man used his cane, he missed the warmth and the light squeeze coming from it. Together they made their way to the bathroom and Scott placed both of Avi's hands on the edge of the sink and handed him a toothbrush right after. Then he left to get something for Avi to sleep in.

While Scott was gone Avi got ready for bed. He brushed his teeth, took off his shirt and the tight pants and patted the countertop until his fingertips touched a bottle of what he expected to be face cleanser. The man popped open the lid and put some of the gel on his fingertips. He was about to apply it to his skin when Scott came back.

"Jesus Christ, that's lube!" He said and then chuckled. "That's lube, Avi. You shouldn't put it on your face. I mean, you can, but the cleanser is on the other side of the sink."

"I'm not going to ask why you have lube right next to the sink..." the bearded man mumbled, blushed and then rinsed it off. He quickly got ready for bed, brushed his hair and put on the shorts and t-shirt Scott had fetched for him before they made it back to bed together.

When the baritone was against Avi, spooning him, his hand rested on his boyfriend's tummy. They laid there for a few minutes and the bass was sure that Scott was already asleep until he spoke up. "I have lube next to the sink because I like to...sometimes have a good time in there, especially in the shower" he explained and kissed Avi's ear. "But I haven't spent the night at home in a while so it's actually pretty old and I should probably get rid of it."

Avi didn't say anything. He was too lost in his thoughts to respond and then he sighed softly. "I- Please don't feel bad?"

"I'm not feeling bad. I'm just explaining it to you."

"But you don't have to."

"Maybe I want to?"

"Do you miss having sex? We've been together for quite a few months already and- we're moving- well, we already kind of live together but we haven't had any...you know." Avi buried his face in the pillow and groaned. "I'm so awkward."

But Scott rubbed over his side and smiled lightly. "You're not awkward, it's alright. There were quite a few weeks were it just wasn't possible to be intimate and even before, when we made it official, I always wanted you to make the first step to give you the time you needed. I still want you to make the first step and I expect you to take as much time as you need."

The bearded man turned around to face Scott, only to scoot against his chest and sigh. "I don't deserve you."

"You do. You have integrity, you are strong, you are respectful, you are kind. You are the most wonderful and, in my eyes, perfect man I've ever met. I don't deserve you."

"Esther would gag and tell us to stop being cheesy."

"Sometimes a little cheese is necessary to have well rounded dish. What would mac and cheese be without cheese?"

That made Avi chuckle and he hit Scott's chest lightly. "Stop it."

"No, never." Scott kissed the top of Avi's head and held him close. "Thank you for organizing such a great party. I had a lot of fun and I hope you enjoyed it too?"

"Mhm..it was good. I'm sorry that I just disappeared and fell asleep."

"Oh, no. No worries. Kevin told me" he said and rested his chin on Avi's head. "Are you ready to sleep or do you have something else on your mind you would like to talk about?"

The bearded man thought for a moment and shook his head. "No, nothing to talk about. But...I'd like to try something, if you're okay with that.."

Scott smiled. "Sure! Whatever you want to do."

Ten minutes later Scott and Avi were shirtless and made out. Avi's hands roamed over Scott's upper body, squeezed his strong arms on the way up again before he cupped his cheeks and kissed him. The kiss lasted long enough for him to straddle Scott and he kept his balance with both of his lower arms resting on the man's chest. He had his eyes closed and hummed approvingly when Scott's hands touched his ribs and provided some warmth in the air-conditioned room.

"Let me see your pretty eyes" the baritone mumbled once he pulled back and Avi slowly opened them. "they're gorgeous."

"Scott-"

"No. They're gorgeous" he repeated.

Avi sighed and sat up. He suddenly wasn't as confident anymore but on the other hand he noticed Scott's member straining against the inside of his thigh. "Do you want to..uhm, you- do you-" he started but his boyfriend interrupted him.

"C'mere, Avi." Scott gently reached around his shoulders and pulled him down. Then he wrapped his arms around his torso. "Don't force yourself to do something you're not in the mood for. We have a whole lot of time and some day it'll feel right, I promise." Right then he noticed how his boyfriend's grip around his sides tightened and the man began to sob.

"I'm sorry" he whispered and buried his nose in the crook of Scott's neck. "I just- you deserve it. You've done so much for me and I can't even sleep with you. I am so sorry, Scott."

The baritone held him tighter and rubbed his bare back. "No. Stop apologizing. I don't want you to force yourself to sleep with me just because you feel like I deserve it. Are you listening? I don't want you to force yourself to do something you're not comfortable with. Understood?"

Avi whimpered. "Y-yeah.."

"Good. Now let me cuddle you" he said, softer, and pulled the blanket over them. "Having you close and knowing that you are content and happy with what is happening is way more important to me than some kind of...intercourse. Wether it be oral sex or butt stuff, nothing is more important and valuable to me than your happiness and well being."

"But...but I didn't get you anything big for your birthday.."

"You calling me your boyfriend is everything I ever wanted. You threw me a party, you made a cake! You made an incredible cake for me! That is a big thing if you ask me."

"Not in my eyes.."

"Because you always think so little of yourself and everything you achieve" he mumbled and ran his hand over the dark curls. Scott noticed that Avi wasn't in the mood to talk and decided to give him space. "We can talk tomorrow, Avi."

Avriel hummed before he slid off of Scott, only to press himself against the man's side. "Happy birthday.."

Scott smiled. "Thank you" he whispered. "Thank you for being my boyfriend. I love you. And no matter what happens, I will always love you. We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time."

Hearing these words calmed Avi's thoughts and he allowed himself to melt against Scott's side. It had been a long day.