SCENE TWO
(CASPER follows SKYLAR into an upstairs bedroom.)
SKYLAR: Felixs parents room. Dont worry. Theyre not using it.
CASPER: You really know your way around.
SKYLAR: Yeah, Ive had sex in pretty much every room in this house. (off CASPERs shock) Because I dated Felix! God, what kind of slut do you think I am?
(SKYLAR raises her baby bottle. And chugs from it.)
CASPER: Wheres Aria?
SKYLAR: Oh my god you are too freaking adorable. (drunk whisper) Arias not coming.
CASPER: Shes not? Then why...
SKYLAR: Do you wanna hang?
Do you wanna hang?
Do you wanna hang for a bit?
Just you and me intimately
Talking about all of our feelings and shit
Do you wanna get
Do you wanna get
Do you wanna get really deep?
We could connect
If I get wrecked
You could rock this baby fast asleep
CASPER: I have to go. (Beat.) I cant stand up.
ALEX: Youre welcome.
SKYLAR: I dont know why shes so crazy about you. Youre not that cute. Also, you are so obviously gay. No offense.
CASPER: None taken. I should get back—
SKYLAR: You know shes not that innocent. That wounded puppy routine? Its how she gets all the guys. Acts all helpless so they want to protect her. Not that I care.
(Beat. It dawns on CASPER...)
CASPER: Youre jealous of Aria!
SKYLAR: Um. OBVIOUSLY Im not.
CASPER: Thats INSANE! Why would you be jealous of anyone? Youre the hottest girl in school! (Beat.) Did I just say that out—
(Suddenly, SKYLAR kisses him. CASPER tries pulling away.)
CASPER: Whoa, whoa! (to ALEX) Make it stop!
ALEX: I dont understand the request.
SKYLAR: Do you wanna stop?
Do you wanna stop?
Do you wanna stop being coy?
Do you wanna get
Do you wanna get
Do you wanna get inside my diaper, boy?
(She hands him the bottle.)
SKYLAR: Its not actually milk.
CASPER: Oh...Im not really a big— (ALEX forces CASPER to drink.) Drinker!
(ALEX makes CASPER kiss SKYLAR. Suddenly, theres a knock on the door.)
ARIA: (OS) Casper? Are you in there? (SKYLAR gestures: Shh.) Dahlia Ophine said she saw you go upstairs. Casper?
(Pause. Finally ARIA goes away. CASPER exhales.)
CASPER: If Dahlia Ophine saw us...
SKYLAR: Dahlia Ophine should mind her own business.
CASPER: Arias going to find out. Dont you care?
SKYLAR: Youre less cute when youre talking.
CASPER: (to ALEX) Help me out here!
ALEX: [speaking Japanese] Konichiwa!
CASPER: What?
ALEX: Im sorry, Casper. Alcohol temporarily scrambles my [Japanese].
CASPER: Then why did you make me drink it?!?
ALEX: It was important you take advantage of the [Japanese]. Youll thank me [Japanese]. [A lot more Japanese.]
SKYLAR: Whatever, Ive had enough—
(A POUNDING on the door.)
FELIX: (OS) CASPER COLLINS?
SKYLAR: Ooh, the fun begins.
CASPER: Is that...Felix?
FELIX: (OS) CASPER, I KNOW YOURE NOT HAVING SEX ON MY PARENTS BED, BECAUSE IF YOU WERE, ID HAVE TO RIP YOUR BALLS OFF!
SKYLAR: GREAT, THEN YOU CAN BOTH BE BALL-LESS!
(Beat.)
FELIX: (OS) ...SKYLAR?!
(The doorknob rattles as FELIX tries to get in. When he cant open the door, he begins throwing himself at it. THUD. THUD. THUD.)
SKYLAR: HEAR THAT? IM HAVING HOT SEX WITH CASPER ALL OVER YOUR PARENTS LINENS!
CASPER: (quickly) No were not, I swear were not!
(Long pause.)
CASPER: ...Maybe he believed me and went away.
(A fist SMASHES through the window.)
ALEX: Kei-koku, kei-koku. [Warning, warning in Japanese]
(As FELIX pulls himself into view, SKYLAR straddles the now-shirtless CASPER.)
FELIX: YOURE FUCKING DEAD, CASPER!
SKYLAR: Go away, were busy SCREWING!
(CASPER pries himself away from SKYLAR and runs to the door. He opens it to discover ARIA.)
ARIA: Casper?
CASPER: Aria!
(He stands frozen for a beat. Then FELIX makes it through the window.)
FELIX: CASPER!
CASPER: (to ARIA) Im sorry.
(CASPER pushes ARIA aside, and runs down the hall, as FELIX chases.)
FELIX: Ill kill you, Casper! Oh man, I shouldnt have drank so much Peach Schnapps.
YOU ARE READING
"Be More Chill: The Musical" But with oc's
General FictionBE MORE CHILL Music & Lyrics by Joe Iconis Book by Joe Tracz Based on the novel by Ned Vizzini BE MORE CHILL Characters: JEREMY HEERE/CASPER COLLINS, awkward high school junior CHRISTINE CANIGULA/ SHAWN CLARK, high school theatre boy, sweetly...
