Act 2: Scene 3 ("Gabe In The Bathroom" *originally Michael*)

2 0 0
                                        

Yes, I know the entire song had to be changed. Work with it.

SCENE THREE

(CASPER runs into a bathroom. Locks the door, takes several deep breaths. Sits down on the edge of the tub. A MONSTER HAND reaches up to grab him. CASPER screams. The hand pulls itself up, revealing...)

GABE: Sup.

CASPER: Gabe? I didnt know you were invited to this party.

GABE: I wasnt. Which is why Im wearing...this clever disguise! (CASPER just stares at him.) Youre speechless. Squip got your tongue?

CASPER: Its...off.

GABE: That would explain why youre talking to me. (Beat.) Ive been thinking about this moment. What I would say to you? I had this really pissed off monologue, an epic journey through twelve years of friendship... (off CASPER) What?

CASPER: Its really good to see you, man.

GABE: It wont be. Once you hear what I found out.

CASPER: Found out?

GABE: About...

(He taps his head. CASPER realizes what he means.)

CASPER: How? Theres nothing on the internet—

GABE: Which is weird, right? I mean, whats not on the internet? So I starting asking around. Finally, this guy I play Warcraft with... Told me how his brother went from a straight D student to a freshman at Harvard. You know where he is now?

CASPER: Really happy and successful?

GABE: Hes in a mental hospital. Totally lost it.

CASPER: I dont see what that has to do with...

GABE: Think, man! Were talking an insanely powerful super-computer. You really think its primary function is to get you laid? Who made them? How did they end up in a high school? In New Jersey? Of all possible applications for such a mind- blowingly advanced technology, you ever wonder what its doing inside YOU?

(Beat.)

CASPER: And I thought SKYLAR was jealous...

GABE: Im honestly asking!

CASPER: Really? Because I think youre pissed I have one and you dont!

GABE: Come on—

CASPER: Maybe I got lucky, is that so weird? With my history, Id say the universe owed me one. And I dont know about your friends brothers whatever, but if youre telling me his squip made him crazy—

GABE: His squip didnt make him crazy.

CASPER: Oh. Well... There you go.

GABE: He went crazy trying to get it out.

(Beat.)

CASPER: Then Ive got nothing to worry about. Why would I want that? (He heads for the door. But GABE is in his way.) Move it.

GABE: Or youll what?

CASPER: Get out of my way. Loser.

(GABE steps aside and CASPER exits. A knock on the door.)

DAHLIA OPHINE: Hello! Other people have to pee!

GABE: Im having my period.

(Beat.)

DAHLIA: Take your time, honey.

Gabe In The Bathroom

GABE: I am hanging in the bathroom

"Be More Chill: The Musical" But with oc'sWhere stories live. Discover now