a great mess ✔️

HOTBS chap.4

Reece's POV

Six weeks since I've been away, and I know he said now everything has changed, and I'm afraid that I might be losing him.

Every night that I spend alone, it kills me to think that he's on his own. I really wish I was back home next to him. But I'm too selfish and such a coward that choose to run away.

I'm scared that his feeling for me will fade away soon, although I know it's my fault since I choose to leave and run away from my problem instead of solving it. There are so many possibilities about this relationship between me and him.

We're not dating anymore, but we know we still love each other, we're not just some 'friends' because there's this huge feeling between us, and we're not enemy either because that's just too impossible to hate the most you love, no matter how much they hurt you, or how much you hurt them.

It feels like we're just driving apart and you fell a little bit further away, and I really don't know what to say.

It's just really hard since I haven't seen his face in ages and I feel like we're as close as strangers. He always refused to Skype or Face-timing me and although it's just six weeks since I've been away, it feels like forever already.

I have no idea what gotten into me until I made that decision and made both of our hearts shattered. All I know is, I regret it deeply because every day just gets harder to stay away from his.

He keeps saying everything has changed and no matter how hard we tried it'll never be the same. Every time I went out, it feels like I'm losing him in thousand faces, and every time I spotted some messy blonde hair, I always thought it was you, but when they turned around and facing me, I can't see those beautiful ocean eyes of yours.

"Reecey, are you okay?" He asked snapping me from my wild thoughts. I even forgot that we're on the phone now.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm... I'm fine. Why did you ask G?"

"You were quiet and I don't know it just strange."

"Nah, I'm all fine G. By the way, what are you gonna do for your birthday? It's in two weeks."

"I don't know Reece, I have basically no one here, so I guess I'll just face timing my mum and El and Cait."

"Oh okay then, do you want anything? Maybe I can send it to you."

"No thanks, I'm all set."

"So um G, I think I'm getting sleepier now, it's pretty late here. I'll talk to you later yeah?"

"Oh okay, G'night Reece, sleep tight"

"Talk to you later, G"

Six days later and after a really steamy battle with my mind, I'm in another plane ride.

Yes, I'm goin to find George and meet him again. I can't handle it anymore, I miss him too much and the late-night calls and another text feel like never enough for us (well at least for me it's not enough)

I keep wondering if is this as good as we're gonna get? Or if there's actually more but we can't reach it? And our different location doesn't even help at all, another time-zone taking me away from him, and every night on the phone call I can tell that he wanna move on, through the tears, I can hear that I shouldn't have gone, and every day it gets harder to stay away from him.

And I keep wondering are we just wasting time by talking on this broken line? We keep talking with each other yet it feels like we're as close as strangers. Is it really my fault or is it his? I mean, he's the one that created this chaos, I'm just adding another mess into it.

I smiled at the flight attendant as I passed her. She thanked me for using their aeroplane and wished me for a nice stay. I hope so too, but I'm so nervous. George didn't know about my arrival, all he knew is that I won't be able to talk tonight.

I dragged my luggage with me, quickly calling a cab and give the man George's address. I looked at my surrounding, noticing some things have been changed but some stayed still. Every memory we've created together suddenly flood in my mind, making me smiled in pain.

I really wish my arrival here will solve everything. I really wish we can talk everything out and just start all over again. But as always, life is never fair.

I paid the cabby man, thanking him with a forced smile before walking onto George's porch. Here we go.

I knocked on the door, waiting patiently for it to be swing open. A familiar voice yelled a 'wait a sec' followed by rushed footsteps before the door finally swung open.

"Reece?"

"Hey, G"

I'm feeling like double updating later today, but we'll see 😉
It's 1AM here anyway, I'm trying to sleep, but can't, so here I am
🤪🙃

Keep voting and boom this with comments, that'll make me updating faster 🖤