Played like a Guitar

Chapter 7 : The Farewell

"We are an impossibility in an impossible universe." - Ray Bradbury

Chapter painting: "Thessaloniki Painting" by Hari Mitrushi

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For the final location, I gave Jamie no choice but to cover his eyes with Benjamin's tie so as not to spoil the surprise I arranged for him. Upon arrival, I grabbed him by the arm, guiding him towards the city's most spectacular scenery and my dearest spot, where I would retreat for inspiration, reflection and escape from daily hassles: a small cliff, with nothing more than a bench and two tree on both sides, offering a breathtaking panoramic view displaying all the infrastructures, lights, sea and navy sky.

"Are you ready?" - I murmured gently into his ear.

"I don't think I am, but here we go." - he took off the tie, carefully absorbing the visual gratification the night had to offer. A moment of justified silence followed - him enjoying the view and me observing the sparkles in his eyes. The left one was a beautiful ocean I wanted to dive in, the right one a jungle filled with secrets I yearned to explore. The only word he managed to let out was my name, confirming indirectly that I made the right choice of coming here. We sat down on opposite sides of the bench, cherishing every second of the moment. Observing the distant details, it really made you appreciate what you had in life, what was missing, all while reflecting on your past, present and future, but also admire how beautiful the world can be even with all its  flaws and hazards, for just a fraction of a second. The city seemed frozen in time, peaceful and abandoned. Looking down from the edge, I noticed my usual fear of heights had disappeared; no longer afraid, feeling safe next to him. But with the view came the dreadful awareness that one day you will no longer be there to watch the sun go down, smell your grandma's cooking, hear your favorite song playing on the radio, touch your loved ones. Death was the cost of life, and I wasn't ready to accept it.

"Jamie, what do you think happens after we pass away?" - I asked, like a child witnessing its goldfish die for the first time.

"I haven't given it much thought, to be honest. I try not dwell on it too much, it can mess up your mind badly. Maybe it's like an eternal dream, just revisiting some of your favorite memories, or perhaps going to a place far, far away where those who've passed will be waiting for you. It's what I'd like to think, at least. Maybe's it's just pure, everlasting nothingness. Why do you ask? Are you afraid of it?" - he focused his attention on me.

"Afraid is an understatement, I'm fucking terrified." Eternal. That word scared the living crap out of me. Whenever I reflected on its meaning, I imagined decades, millenniums, then millions and billions of years more, but it still wouldn't pass. It was just...forever, and worst of all, there was absolutely nothing I could do to prevent it. "I remember thinking about it when I was ten or something, imagining that passage from life to death, from existing to passing away, and it would drive me insane. I would start screaming in my pillow and kicking the bed, agonized by the frailness of my very existence. It lasted for weeks, but then one day, it just stopped. Since it was so emotionally exhausting, I decided to distract myself whenever it crossed my mind and it usually works. Until that day comes, I want to give life everything I can, so I can die happily." – I confessed, feeling the weight off my shoulders followed by an unexpected smile, as if I felt at peace with whatever the future held. He turned his head towards me, revealing a gloomy empathetic expression.

"It can't have been easy going through that, especially at a young age. Look, I wish I could tell you the answer, but it's out of my reach. Like you said, don't think about it. It's better for you to focus on the present and enjoy the moment instead of dwelling on the future. It's probably like the instance you go from being awake to falling asleep, the one we don't remember. Who knows, maybe we get reincarnated, or wake up as part of some weird alien simulation or something?" - he chuckled but noticed my unresponsiveness.