Ch.19

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It had been a couple of weeks since I told Jake that we were better off as friends. The group was still chill with each other and we hung out just like we did before. My parents visited a little bit, but they had to go upstate again. We were all hanging out in Elijah's basement.

"(Y/n), you better not kill me." Elijah was trying to push me so I couldn't kill him in Fortnite.
"It's not my fault I'm good." We were both laughing.
Jackson and Jake were in the back on their phones. Jake and I never had long conversations anymore, he would always start them but I would end it.
Elijah and I were yelling at each other because he had killed me for the fifth time when Jake started to walk up the stairs.

"I'm going to go guys see ya." We were already used to it.

After he shut the door Jackson jumped over the sofa and sat next to me, "He's so weird now."

"It's whatever." I said focusing on the game.

"He's with Jaimie now, what do you expect? He was like this before."Jake and Jaimie started dating a couple days after I wanted a break from Jake. Turns out that night they hooked up and now they're actually dating.

"I don't know, maybe he'd learn his lesson and not be a bitch about hanging out with us." Jackson got up and turned the tv off.

"Heyy! What the heck?" I yelled. Elijah put the controllers away and they both stood in front of me. Just waiting. "What?"

"Are you okay?" Elijah asked.

"What do you mean? I've been okay."

Jackson sat down next to me and hugged me, "we know it's hard for you."

"Dude stop. I don't care about what happened anymore. Yea I was upset the first couple of days, but I'll live. If Jake decided to be with Jaimie then it just means he'd rather be with someone like her." I got up from the couch and grabbed my skateboard. "Now that he's gone, how about we do something fun."

"(Y/n), last time we did something fun we got in trouble & Sebastian moved away."

"I know I know, let's just go for a walk or something." We headed upstairs and went out the front door. Logan was outside with some friends, so I tried my best not to make eye contact.

"Where you guys going?"

"Out." Elijah said still walking away.

"Elijah! Where are you going?" Ever since his brother officially moved back in he's been a drunk to the family.

"I said out, you dick! Just chug that beer down & shut up!" Elijah had been staying over at my house sometimes. Especially when his brother would end up hitting him.

Elijah now had a scar on his bottom lip from the first night he got hit and now everyone could see it. Everyone was changing except me, I wanted to keep the guys in check. If I was messed up in the head too we all would end up dead.

We decided to go to the park, no one was there so I tried to teach Jackson how to skateboard. "Okay push with your right foot now." Jackson started to ride around the park so I sat down next to Elijah.

"You okay?" I asked.
"Not really."
"Why's that?"

"You know why. First of all, all our lives are going down hill. If Jackson wasn't here he'd be drinking with his dad becoming an alcoholic. Jake isn't even here anymore! He's being a shithead! If I wasn't here I'd probably get beaten up by my brother. And you. You'd probably be dating some jerk that doesn't even care about you. Am I not good enough for you (y/n)? You know I'm in love with you, but you keep ignoring my comments. I know you got out of a relationship with Jake, but everyone warned you. I just want to be with you, I want to kiss you. It's not fair that Jackson got to kiss you more than I have. I want you so bad. I want everything to go back to normal! I want Sebastian and Caleb to be here still! I'm so tired of being sad!" He was crying and his tears were now on his shirt. I gave him a hug and he started to cry more, we were all going crazy with all these changes. I wanted Sebastian back too, I wanted our group to be the way it was, I wanted to be able to be trusted and now I was going to try my best not be the way I was. I knew how he felt, I wanted life to be easy, I didn't want to have to cry myself to sleep every night.

"Why us?" Elijah asked looking back up at me.

"We may have hard lives, but we have each other to get through it. You're right. Jackson would be drunk, I would be screwing with a new guy, and you would be getting beat up. But we have each other and that's why we aren't there right now. I love you too Elijah, I just need to figure out who I am first."

Jackson rolled back to us and saw Elijah's eyes filled with tears. He picked up the skateboard, handed it to me and hugged him. Jackson started to cry too and he wasn't even there for the conversation.

"How about you guys come over to my house today? Let's watch some movies or whatever." I suggested. They both nodded their head and smiled at me.

We were walking away when a group of guys came around us, "hey mamas, why don't you hang with us?"

I ignored them and kept walking until I heard a click. I turned around and so did Jackson and Elijah. The guy had a gun pointed straight at me and the other guys stood behind him.

"Put the gun down!" My voice was shaking and I was scared.

"I don't take no for an answer & I don't like it when I'm ignored." He loaded it up and started to pull down the trigger. I shut my eyes and covered my hands with my face. Then nothing happened. I heard a shot go off and then a gun dropped. Then I heard running.

I opened my eyes and saw Sebastian standing there, "Dude you alright?" He was checking me everywhere and hugged me close. There was a guy laying there unconscious.

"Sebastian." I started to cry. I was so close to dying, but I never wanted to die that way.

"Man. Where did you come from?" Elijah asked with tears in his eyes.

"I came back, I convinced my dad to let me stay here. If I don't get in trouble. I've been looking for you guys everywhere." He looked around and made a confused face at me,"wait where's Jake?"

We didn't say anything and he could already tell what happened. "Cmon let's get out of the park."
He grabbed my hand and we all started to walk to my house, "You're going to explain to me what happened." He whispered in my ear. I was still shaken up about what had happened, I didn't talk the entire way to the house. When we got there Jake was sitting at the porch.

"Sebastian?" He got up and looked at us. "Woah (y/n), what happened?" He tried to talk to me but I got my keys and opened the door.

"You need to leave. Now." I said.

"Yeah. I should. Sorry." He started to walk away and then turned back around, "I can't be part of the group anymore."

"Why?" Jackson asked.
"Things came up."
"That doesn't mean you're not part of the group anymore, just go hang with your girl. We aren't in the mood to hear your bullshit" Elijah said.

We all went inside the house, except Jake, and I sat down in the couch.

Sebastian sat next to me and hugged me, "okay, what happened?"
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