Love in the Time of Corona

13

And so we strolled down the streets. When I got out of the room, Mom looked worried indeed... but despite the oath of choosing positivity, I can't help but just keep it in. Of course, I told her I'm fine so that the conversation will immediately be closed. That's how it usually is, so, I live by it.

In every step we take, I hear his soft sighs and of course, it pains me. After all, we are family. He's my brother... and he shares the same feelings and opinions that I have about our family.

"I guess it's my time to ask the classic question." I cleared my throat. "Would you like to talk about it, Kio?"

He didn't speak as soon as I asked so I've taken his response as a 'no'. I don't want to be the pushy one, though of course, I am honestly dying to know what's running in his mind and how he's feeling.

After a few blocks, we've reached the town's rustic playground. I inhaled the metallic smell of the old facilities that I used to have fun with. I didn't notice that it made me smile.

"You're smiling." Kio stated. I was startled but as soon as I recovered, I pulled him towards the swing set. Without hesitations or fear that the swing might fall off, I sat and let myself feel the breeze as it moves.

"You're still a child, Krys." Kio was standing still but eventually, he safely sat beside the swing I'm riding.

"Or not. Maybe I'm just trying to make up for the lost childhood of mine." I declared with my eyes closed. "So, Kio, will you talk?" Of course I'll bring it up again.

He exhaled loudly and stared into nothing. "I guess I will."

"Good. Now, let me ask you, do you have personal struggles that are too problematic for you to handle or is it somethinh else?" I initated the conversation so that it won't be hard for him to open up a little bit.

"It's kinda a mix of both, actually." He looked at me. "I swear, I don't do drama, I know that you know that." I nodded in agreement.

"But ever since this whole awkward situation of moms being here, I can't help but feel blah." His brows furrowed. He paused for so long and I pressumed he's being consumed by his feelings.

"Continue, Kio." I'm truly tring to be as encouraging as I can, even if that's not what I'm good at. He shook his head as he regain a grasp of reality once again.

"Where was I? Oh, yeah. The blah feeling. It's like empty but not exactly empty. I honestly don't know what to do or what to feel which might be because I'm not used to deal with these kinds of stuff." He sighed. "Semestral breaks used to be so much fun... when it's just the three of us."

"So you feel empty because it's awkward at home?" I tried to comprehend.

"Partly, I guess. I'm more of perplexed than empty because of the Moms situation. I'm like very confused on how the heck do they bear seeing each other everyday, acting as if nothing's happened in the past years. As if Mom didn't wrecked Dana's relationship with Dad." I hushed him.

"Hey. It's... not like that. I'm so sure."

"How is it then, Krys? Let's be real."

I suddenly feel uneasy. "Ok. As I pledge to be real, promise me that our conversations will stay between us." We did the pinky promise so I started saying the story that mostly broke me and my childhood.

"I'll try to fill you in from when I was 9 you're like 6 already... Mom forgave Dad for the you-know-what. Dad introduced me to you. I definitely remember that I asked Dad, 'how come Mom's tummy didn't grow?' And he just said that it's not yet the time for me to know. I brushed it off. I... I remember that when I turned 10, Mom started to become unlike her usual self. She used to read me stories on bed time. She'd cook dinner as soon as she got home from work. She'll spend time with me and Dad on the living room and we'd watch until I fall asleep. Suddenly, things changed. Whenever I ask her to do the things she used to do, she'd tell me she's busy doing something. I got pretty sad, of course. So, I'd ask Dad to do it instead. Dad did the Mom things for a long time. Next thing I knew, I hear screams, breaking of things, and more shouts. It became frequent. One thing led to another and eventually, I started to cry when I saw her walk out that damn door, cause in my understanding on what's going on, I felt like Mom left us for something or someone else, which is her dreams apparently, as she has told me when I first went to Korea. She tried to explain her side in a way that Dad would look bad, and I don't think I will ever see Dad in that way. I didn't believed her, even if she's my Mom." I paused. Searching for breath cause I think I talked too much without taking a break to inhale and exhale air.

"So, I definitely think that it was not entirely Georgia's fault of my parents' failed marriage. As I've aged, I kinda feel thankful that even if George and Dad is on-and-off, she's still there. She kept going back to him. Unlike Mom." I tried to smile. Kio was just staring at me, teary-eyed.

"Are you actually starting to cry?" I almost laughed while asking.

"I just... I'm very happy to know that you don't think of me in that way. All my life, I'd always feel bad for something I never really understood. I always looked at myself as a big mistake. I'm... I... thank you. I love you so much Krys." He stood up, hugging me.

I was about to hug him back when I heard rustling noises behind the large plant nearby.

"Kio. When I count to 3, we'll run towards the direction I'll pull you into." I said, while hugging him back.

"What?! I'm confused." I didn't really cared about his confusion cause I am confident that he'll tag along.

"1...

2...

3!" I said, almost like a whisper. We ran towards the big plant with its leaves almost covering the fences.

As soon as we found out who was behind the bush, we were in shock, of course.

"What the..." Kio exclaimed. I'm speechless.

"Hi...?"

Kio looked so turned off, "What in the world are you doing there, Rachel?"