The Rise of Lydia Rowe ↠ Jasper Hale (ON HOLD)

[2.20] homecoming

LYDIA WAS AT THE KITCHEN TABLE when Tracy walked into the house, an armful of groceries in tow. Lydia set down the journal she'd been looking through and went to take some of the bags off of her mother's arm, getting a smile in return. 

"You've been looking through those journals since Adam left," Tracy said, nodding at the small stack Lydia had brought from her room to the kitchen to read. 

Lydia nodded, starting to unload the groceries. "Figured I might as well learn as much as I can, since Adam's not here anymore to teach me first-hand." 

"You okay?" Tracy asked softly. 

Lydia shrugged slightly. "I guess I understand why he left—I just can't say I agree." 

"I wish he'd stuck around," Tracy said. "Johanna loved having him back in her life. I can't imagine what she's going through. I mean, if you decided to distance yourself like him..." 

"I won't," Lydia promised. She kissed her mom's cheek. "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." 

Tracy smiled softly. "Good." She gathered the empty bags and put them in one of the cabinets, then turned to her daughter. "I'm making steak quesadillas—wanna help?" 

Lydia nodded. They worked in silence for a little while, until Tracy said, "I heard the Cullens are back in Forks." 

"Yeah," Lydia murmured. "Alice and Edward started back at school last week." 

"What about Jasper?" 

Lydia shook her head. "Alice said he's... doing some traveling," she said, figuring it was a good enough excuse. She couldn't exactly tell her mom that her vampire ex-boyfriend had found out about her "death" and ran off to Canada. "His family hasn't heard from him in a while. I don't know if he's planning on coming back to Forks or not." 

"What do you hope he does?" Tracy asked softly. 

It took Lydia a moment to answer. "I still miss him, if that's what you mean," she said quietly. "It'd be nice to see him, but I mean... it's not like we'll just magically get back together." 

"If he asked you to," Tracy said, "would you?" 

Lydia bit her lip. It was the million-dollar question. "I think I'd want to," she murmured. "Is that wrong of me?" 

Tracy shook her head immediately. "You were in love with him," Tracy said. "A part of you will probably always be in love with him. Wanting to be with him again isn't stupid—it's human." 

"Well, I'm not exactly human, am I?" Lydia quipped. 

Tracy bumped shoulders with her daughter, shaking her head with a smile. "You know, I'd say life is short and not to waste time holding a grudge, but..." 

"Life isn't short," Lydia murmured. "At least, not for me. It's painstakingly long." 

"I just want to make sure you're happy while I'm still here," Tracy said softly. "I won't be able to do much from beyond the grave, but for now, I can give you whatever kind of advice you want and all the love you need." 

"Mom," Lydia whispered, a small frown tugging at her lips. "Don't talk like that." 

Tracy squeezed Lydia's arm. "I just worry," she murmured. "I don't want you to be miserable after your mom and I are gone, or after Gwen's gone. You'll have Adam, thank God, but... I just don't want you to lose that light you have now." 

Lydia pulled her mom into a hug, squeezing her tightly as tears built up in her eyes. "Let's not worry about that yet," she mumbled against Tracy's shoulder. "I just want to enjoy the time I have with you while I still can."