Hers To Bear - An SVU fic

22.No more

I arrived at Olivia's apartment exactly 45 minutes after her call and as I stood in the hallway outside her door, part of me wanted to turn around and run far away from whatever she wanted to talk about. Another part of me however - a bigger part, was far too curious to find out what she had to say, and it was that part of me that propelled my hand to reach out and push my finger against the doorbell.

"I'm glad you could make it" Olivia smiled and invited me in.

"I have to admit, you piqued my curiosity" I said as I entered the apartment and walked in to the living room with Olivia behind me.

"Have you talked to your friend Sara lately?"

"Sara? No, not since before Noelle was born" I said as I took a seat on the sofa

"That long?"

"We had falling out, it was ugly. Why the concern about Sara? You said on the phone that this involves her"

"It does. I um, I got a package today- Fin and Nick brought it over after Sara's brother delivered it to the precinct this morning."

"Sean?"

"He said that Sara gave it to him a month ago and told him to bring it to me if he didn't hear from her within two weeks."

"And he brings it a month later? That sounds like Sean alright" I said.

"What worries me is that he doesn't seem concerned that he hasn't heard from her in a month"

"They have a complicated relationship, trust me, it's normal. What was in the package?"

"Among other things, this letter" She said as she picked it up from the coffee table and handed it to me. I quickly read it, made emotional at what Sara had written and I looked over at Liv.

"Do you really think something may have happened to her?" I asked with tears in my eyes.

"I don't know, but I promise you I'll do whatever I can to find out." I was silent as I nodded in agreement, too emotional to speak and needing a moment to collect myself.

"It was Chad, I know it was!" I cried. "He's twisted and evil"

"And we'll get him; I swear to you we'll get him!" Olivia assured me as she took my hand.

"She really gave you proof?"

"She did. Footage of about a dozen rapes along with the names of some of the girls that were assaulted and all of the guys involved. I skimmed through the footage, it's legit."

"Is um...was I..."

"She copied yours on a separate drive...I didn't watch it; I couldn't..." she stammered as she put that drive in my hand. I closed my fist around it and took a deep breath then exhaled slowly, looking up at her just as Noelle began to whine over the baby monitor.

'She probably needs a change" she said as she started to get up

"Liv, could I maybe...I mean if it's ok, I could get her." I had no idea where it even came from as the words left my mouth.

"Of course it's ok" Olivia said without hesitation and I could tell that she was sincere.

...

I entered the nursery to see Noelle's little arms flailing as she voiced her displeasure. I slowly made my way to her crib and looked down at her - how is it that she grew more exquisite every time I saw her?

"Hey babydoll" I cooed softly as I bent to pick her up "What's all the fuss?" I asked as I cradled her in my arms, my heart leaping in my chest the moment I touched her.

"We haven't seen each other in a long time, you probably don't remember me" I knew that I was wrong the minute she lay her head against my chest and began to quiet, almost as if the sound of my heart beating was soothing her.

...

Outside in the living room, Olivia smiled at hearing Amanda talking to Noelle from the monitor before she reached over and turned it off, deciding that what would be said from mother to daughter should be kept between them. She picked up Sara's letter then picked up her phone and scrolled until she found the number she needed then hit the call button.

***

Over at Internal Affairs Bureau, Brian had just gotten off the elevator and was leaving the building when his phone rang.

"Cassidy" he answered without bothering to check the display

"Brian, hey, it's me" Olivia said as Brian's face lit up

"Liv, it's good to hear from you"

"You too; listen, I'm sorry to hate to call like this but I really need a favor"

"Name it"

"Um, you still in touch with that PI friend of yours; ex CIA guy?"

"Russ? Yeah, what's goin on?"

"I need to have him look into something for me; a possible missing person"

"Why don't you let NYPD handle it?" he asked as he got in a cab

"Because NYPD doesn't have access to the intel Russ does and also because no one thinks she's missing. I wouldn't ask if it weren't important.

"Okay. Who are we trying to find?" he asked

"Her name's Sara Harris - that's Sara without the H. I don't have much more to give you right now but if you wanna stop by later, I'll have much more"

"Yeah, I have a meeting uptown right now so I'll swing by as soon as I'm done"

"Thanks Brian"

"No problem, see you soon." He said before ending the call.

...

In Olivia's apartment, Amanda reentered the living room.

"You were right; I changed her, rocked her a bit and she went right back to sleep"

'She's pretty easy" Olivia said, smiling as she reached to turn on the baby monitor. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just...do you still have the dress and the other thing I gave you before Noelle was born?"

"Still sealed, why?" Olivia asked.

"Because I need them back"

"Can I ask?"

"Do you remember what you said to me when I told you about Chad being Noelle's father?"

"I said that I didn't give a damn who he was, that I wasn't afraid of him and that Noelle would be protected at all costs"

"Now's your chance. I wanna press charges, I want that bastard and his friends to pay for what they did to me, for what they did to those other girls and for what I know he's done to Sara even if we can't prove it."

"You're sure about this?" Olivia asked "Once we get the ball rolling..."

"I've never been more sure of anything my life!"

"Good, because I want to nail these assholes!" Olivia said with a smirk, proud that Amanda had come to this decision. "What changed your mind?"

"Sara meant well, but those drives are useless and we both know it. Defense will motion to suppress because of how they were obtained and we'll have nothing"

"But if you make the claim..."

"It gives NYPD enough probable cause to have a judge sign off on a search warrant and they can get their hands on that computer and the camera equipment, get those videos legally then lock their asses up and throw away the key!"

"If Chad finds out about your pregnancy and starts poking around..."

"Then he'll find out the truth, that I was already 5 weeks pregnant the night of the attack" Amanda said to Olivia, her statement dripping with serious subtext that Olivia completely understood and nodded to make it clear to Amanda that she got it.

"We never had this conversation" Olivia smirked

"And you never laid eyes on that dress." Amanda said, a silent understanding between the two.