Breathe Underneath

Kabanata 16

I woke up 5am in the morning, ayoko muna makipagusap kay Vernon and the kids are having a nap pa.

I wore a simple blue skirt and a white blouse paired with black stilletos and chained hermes bag. Dumaan ako sa mga kwarto ng anak ko and I bid a bye to them since I'll go to work.

Ang pasok ko ay 7 am habang gigising na si Vernon ng 6 am and I don't want him to see me neither hold me.

I didn't use his cars, tumataas ang altapresyon ko na napapaoverthink ako, what if that car we use have a memory of them making out? Paano kung sinakay niya rin ang kabit niya don?

I never heard a text message nor call from Unija, I blocked her on all active accounts, I don't wanna talk to her.

I book a grab for my transpo. Nagpababa muna ako sa near cafe sa RFCo. Para magpalipas ng oras. To think. To exhale.

"Good morning, Ma'am! What is your order po?" Bati ng gwapong binatang kahero. "Ang ganda niyo po, Ma'am." Sambit niya pa.

I gave him a warm smile, "Stop that, mas matanda ako sayo ng taon." Sambit ko. My husband cheat, maybe, but I won't do it to him!

The guy chuckled, "Hindi naman kita jojowain, pft." Bulong niya.

Inirapan ko lang siya kaya natawa siya lalo, "I want to have one tall hot green tea latte drink, and also...." I look at the breads, "I want that." I pointed the almond bread.

I paid it and iniwan siya doon. But I heard him utter, "suplada" and chuckled.

Pumili ako ng tagong seat. I waited for my order, gladly sobrang aga pa kaya bilang palang ang customer.

Maya-maya ay tinawag na ang pangalan ko kaya I stood up and get my order.

Yung bread muna kinain ko dahil gutom talaga ako, I felt light. Maya-maya ay napatitig naman ako sa sahig at may tumulo na namang luha kaya agad kong kinuha ang panyo ko at pinunasan iyon.

Pero sakto nang punasan ko iyon ay nalaglag na lahat. I never felt my world shuttered to pieces until now. Asawa ko yon e! We are married!

But I am more angry at myself, I even tried to think hard about him last night, hoping that I'll remember him, pero wala talaga, kaya tinigil ko dahil baka magpass out ako.

I stopped eating the bread at hindi kona nakayanan ay dinukdok kona ang mukha ko sa desk.

"Ay ma'am, mali po iyong drink—" Napaangat ako ng tingin at agad pinunasan ang mukha ko. "Mali yung nalapag na drink sa tray mo, ito pala." Kinuha niya ang ngayon ko lang napansin na drink sa tray, it's an espresso coffee.

Tumango lang ako at hinayaan siya ilapag iyon. Nang makaalis siya ay natulala nanaman ako at kinuha ang drink ko when I felt a sharp edge on its back.

Inikot ko ang cup and I saw a neon post it paper, there is a message there, Find your peace..

It's very rude because the idea has a thought of death. I look at the guy who entertained me earlier, he's looking at me intently at umiwas ng tingin nang salubungin ko iyon. But I don't know what peace is that, is it because I'm crying and he saw it?

I finished the bread and I retouched my make-up. I decided to go in sa building since it's quarter to 7am na. The time flies so fast, or maybe I didn't notice it.

I bring my drink with me at tumawid nako sa kabila dahil tapat lang naman iyon ng RFCo.

Habang nasa elevator ay chineck ko ang phone ko, I opened my email and I saw a new email which was sent last night. Iyon ang schedule and loaded works ko ngayon. Ngayon ko lang nakita ito dahil hindi na ako nakapagisip ng tama kagabi.