Mr. Pride and I | jjk x llm

31

Lisa

I laughed, consuming another piece of cut pork, savoring its flavor as though it were the first time I had tried it, loving how the school offered such a great variety of delicacies that made me look forward to recess and lunch even lmore.

I looked beside me as I swallowed, glancing at Jennie who struggled to stop from laughing, clutching her stomach as she leaned back, her head doing the same as she did so. Jisoo had told a joke, 'cows and lawsuits,' as I had referred to her joke, in my mind, of course. And there, I noticed how Jennie looked more blooming than how she was, a bright, lightening color painting her face that made her look refreshed and happier. I smiled at that, chuckling.

Jisoo truly had such great humour, one that you wouldn't quite get, however, despite people not getting, nor understanding, what she spoke of or acted of, I knew they'd find themselves to be amused, entertained, and be placed in a situation where the atmosphere was light, fun, and always reminded me of youth—where what mattered never included the stress of work, the worries spent on bills and expenses, the fact that our time never seemed to be enough for us to engage in activities we wanted to do, and so much more youth never had to worry of.

And, maybe, in that very moment, did I start understanding the concepts of change–of how all I see to be in front of me, all that I feel, all that goes on in my surroundings were not at all permanent.

I feel my heart start beating faster than how it should've, questioning if it were caused by my laughing upon Jisoo's joke, or a reaction to the overwhelming thought that we all knew, but hit harder than it should have when I thought of it.
We all were growing old, with every passing second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year—and none of us have the ability to be able to go back to these moments again once it had passed. Unless, of course, people would manage and accomplish to make a time machine, but it doesn't seem likely, although we never really know.

And, as I sit, my laugh started to fade into quiet, awkward chuckles, as I pictured myself, stretching years into the future, my legs laid close to my chest as I hold onto a mug filled with coffee that I made, looking out the windows of which held views of the life that lied by the countryside, reminiscing what I had now—laughing uncontrollably to jokes that didn't make sense, of the effort spent on arguing about cookies and spaghetti, of what I shared with the sea, the sand, and the sky that very day my parents had given me the freedom I knew I needed, the childhood I spent running through rice fields far behind our house, cooking meals on the pottery set my parents had bought me days after Christmas, a late present I never expected, and the nights spent awake in our house back in Busan—and, upon the thought of such things, I grimace a little, my stomach starting to feel upset.

I need out.

And so, I did.

'I'm gonna be heading to the washroom for a while,' I said as I slowly stood from my seat, with Chaeyoung starting following my very actions.

'I can come with you,' she said, her voice slightly muffled due to the food she still has not swallowed, her cheeks puffing as her eyebrows lifed, asking a question I got.

Just how cute can she get?

And I smiled a smile that didn't show my teeth at the sight of her, and knowing how much she nagged on and on about how she felt like she was starved and was badly in need of food as me and Jennie came to fetch them in their classrooms.

'No, it's okay! Finish your meal, I won't take long!' I smiled once more, waving as they did the same, with Jennie still hiding in a laugh before pushing my feet to take wide, weird-looking steps as I move out of the cafeteria.