2. white rose 》jeongmi

LXV

it would normally take a lot of gut and confidence in oneself to go and talk to someone you've hurt so bad. but in my case, my greed and desperation led me to her.

i knew i was always the straightforward person, but i never knew i would be this straight to the point to tell her immediately that i want her back.

she smiles bitterly as she stares at her unusual venti strawberry frappe. "you want what back?" she whispers soft enough for me to hear. and in trying to read her train of thoughts, i think i heard her asking if what i want back was just her, or us.

and that was my cue to apologize. my deepest, sincerest apology. it was then i realized how bad i was treating her, how much weight i was putting on her back, and how much i have hurt her just because i was being a selfish asshole. to which ended up telling her just how much i loved her.

the fact that she couldn't look me in the eyes screams so much volumes.

"you don't have to apologize, jeongyeon." she whispers again, her voice hoarse. "you're not the bad guy." she tried smiling, but it didn't work.

the smile i used to see before, was nowhere to be found in her face. the iridescent eyes i used to get drowned in, couldn't even splash me a glance. "i've hurt you so much mina, so much that you can't even look straight at me right now." for a moment, i couldn't speak. those times i spent with her before was running inside my head, adding up to how much i wanted to go back. "i just--" i breathed, "i'm really, really sorry. for everything."

"no." she spoke firmly, which stopped me from my thoughts. "this is just too much for you and i don't think i can do this anymore, jeong-ah, i--" at a monent she couldn't utter anymore words, her voice cracking as she stops herself from weeping. "i don't think there's any more reason for us to get back together, i'm so sorry." she bowed a little before leaving.

and with that, i knew just how much pain i have caused her, and just how much of an asshole i was.//

note:

hi. i hope you all noticed how this story is getting so out of hand. there is no fixed plotline for this story and i just write what i feel like to happen everytime i update. i didn't want to completely abandon this story (all of my works in general), so i decided to finish this in 10-20 entries more and just to let you know, i couldn't think of any better ending than that one ending i thought of since the beginning of black swan. so i'm sorry to disappoint some of you who started with me since black swan (2018) if ever the whole story became something very unexpected and out of context. anyway, i wish you all a healthy quarantine life and healthy mental health ♡.

xoxo,
akslgy.