2. white rose 》jeongmi

LXXXV

my heart throbbed as i feel little pains inside my chest once again.

"at first, it was just because i was trying to get back at him, and that i was just really lonely at the moment. that's why i approached you, and talked to you. and then the next thing i knew, you were saving me from my mother, and then i was slowly getting distracted at the fact that you were so gentle with me, and you made me forget what it feels like to be suffocated, and then when you started to get attached to me, i became hesitant"

i could hear her chuckle as she was obviously reminiscing the days when we had just met. for me, it was too bittersweet.

"i never really intended to have you wrapped around my fingers. and at one point, i even tried to ask you to save me, from all of what's weighing me down that time. but i realized it was too much to ask for, and you were still just a stranger then.

"the moment i felt like i was starting to get attached to what was unsure between us, i stopped answering your calls. i stopped myself from calling you back, and then i even deleted your number. it was stupid because i have it memorized then.

"and when you, like, miraculously popped in front of me in japan, where i least expect you to be, shit started getting out of control. and then the next thing, you were already my little secret."//