2. white rose 》jeongmi

VIII

"why?" i asked further into the conversation, too occupied at the butterflies outside the glass walls, and maybe even those inside my stomach. i hear mina hum, "why are you so far?" i asked as i turned my head to look at her.

she looked down at her empty cup of coffee with a slight smile on her face. "why are 'you' so far?" she asked me back, mockingly.

i was a bit shocked by her question, and asked myself why we were so far from each other since she came here. i smiled, defeated. "i don't know." i paused, "maybe it's just too good to be true."

"what is?" she frowned, curious.

"you, here, with me." i replied, my voice almost a whisper loud enough for her to hear.

i notice her lip curve for a bit, and somehow it felt kind of spectacular to realize that what is happening right now is not an illusion i created. that i'm not dreaming this time.

"actually, my mother sent me here to teach ballet and i was designated as a part-time instructor." she started explaining. "i'm sorry if i couldn't approach you more often inside the campus because of that strict student-teacher limits." she continued, enlightening me about her sudden appearance before me.

"it's fine for me. atleast i know i'm not the only one pretending."

her mouth was left half open after what i said. "i'm not like you, jeong-ssi. i don't pretend i don't see you everytime i see you." she was kinda upset and i think we were starting an argument here, for the very first time. i wonder why it felt a little exciting.

"i told you before, i can never pretend you're invisible." my defense.

"the same as i could never pretend like we're friends because we're not!" she spat back, and i think i was too shocked and offended by it. hearing the words made me speechless.

i never thought i was less than a friend of hers, and it kinda hurts here, in my chest.

i hear her sigh, and then she stood up after  a while. "i'm going to go watch a performance right around the corner, come with me if you want." she said, straight toned and by that, i knew she wanted me to go.//